Burisma has been debunked.  It’s the real nothing burger as Lindsay Graham likes to moan.  Who cares if his kid had an affair?  So did Trump!

Hunter Biden’s actual political scandal — his secret child in Arkansas — has a new wrinkle.

I’d try that, but I just don’t have that much material about knowing Colin Jost.

A baby fathered out of wedlock, a stripper, a little bit of semi-incest, a Presidential primary candidate...are we SURE Dynasty went off the air?

I’ll be live tweeting from Pete Davidson’s shows from now on, as though I were in the audience, despite the fact that I’m never going to go to one.

Maybe his act is a roast. 

Damn, so I gotta provide my own salt water, too?

Knives Out did $70 million worldwide this weekend, so I’m hoping we get more Benoit in the future. So happy for Rian. All his haters can go eat a laundry basket of dicks.

I’m a fan of anyone who calls Cowell out on his bullshit. 

Well. Yes. She clearly was making their lives difficult because she was insisting that they stop allowing a toxic culture. Just like any woman over the last century in any workplace who has tried to stop men from touching them inappropriately/demanding sexual favors/demeaning them/fighting for salary parity or any of…

Not saying that’ the case here, but ...

Ever think we’d get to a time where a show was squeaky clean while Howard Stern was a part of it and all the controversy would start after he left?

I miss the days when RDJ was there spilling the tea.

Union. Is there some kind of, I don’t know, professional organisation Union could join?

Obviously Anti-Dentite!

I think it says something about you, or perhaps western society, that Vampire and Ninja merited capitalisation but dentist did not.

I see what you did there.

Who the fuck keeps asking for more Jay Leno? 

I think the only reasonable way to resolve this situation is for Jay Leno to take the job of an NBC host who recently left that position.

Frankly I wish she was a lot less culturally relevant. Like maybe going away. Forever.