Oh man, I needed this so badly 2.5 years ago when I got back from my honeymoon. We were SO excited about the trip that EVERYONE knew where we were going and expected us to come back regaling them with the details about how glamorous and stunning it was. Except what actually happened was that first both of us got…

I gagged twice trying to read this story aloud to my husband. All the stars to you. 

Homophobia. 

Agreed, highly appreciate the warning. I like watching nature shows as a break from the political chaos that swirls around us all day long, and while it’s totally important that people are aware of how desperately our planet needs to be saved, I just cannot handle this shit right now. Between the baby flamingoes and…

You guys! I met Scar in real life last week on safari (notsohumble brag)

I once heard from a baggage person that it was Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive (he was reconnecting me with my luggage that took a six week vacation to Puerto Rico, which is NOT where I went).

It’s really terrible, right? Because you’re still stuck in the middle of it. If it was a friend who was still railing on an ex, you would tell them to get some therapy and get over it. I’ve really tried to shut it down when either of them says something nasty. Tell your therapist. I don’t want to hear it. 

Agreed. I usually really dislike her, but she’s hit on a sore subject for me. My parents divorced 25+ years ago and trying to navigate my wedding a few years ago where they would both have to be in the same room together for many hours was a nightmare (side note: They actually did behave quite well and even sat down…

Are you secretly my husband? Because we were JUST having this conversation this weekend (after getting cut off by someone). You can’t be a teacher or a lawyer without at least continuing education (ignoring even more important, life-saving jobs like nurses, doctors, firefighters, etc). I couldn’t get a job based on my…

Hey! Not all eyebrow-less people are racist! (But seriously, if you’re going to cause a scene in public, make sure you draw them on first, amiright?)

Ok, but not none schools, right? My nephew is headed to college next year and he definitely took them even if not every school he applied to required them. It’s still a topic of conversation and would have been a little weird for parents not to talk with their kids about.

100% agree. And they would know long before that — everyone knows you have to take the SATs to get into college. They didn’t notice that someone else took it for them? They didn’t notice that they had to tell someone that they were interested in a sport they had never played? Please. They didn’t ask questions because…

I broke my front tooth pretty much in half when I was 8. If there’s enough real tooth left, they can kind of just glue (using real dental glue and definitely not superglue) a fake rest-of-the-tooth thing there, but the glue only lasts about 8-10 years. Which is why it fell out in the middle of class in high school.…

Right. I mean, my dad HAS made being his daughter difficult on occasion, but that’s because my dad is sometimes an asshole. That’s not something that people with good dads say. My father-in-law is (small town-)famous and none of his children would ever say that made their lives difficult (except maybe when they were…

As a loud, opinionated, very not shy woman, lemme say to your wife — they hate us cuz they ain’t us. 

Second this. It’s awkward, and sometimes painfully so, but I’ve really been enjoying it. It’s cathartic. 

Thanks. It’s not a burner name per say, I’m just perma-gray, and that’s who I am -- Baby Girl is my dog. But “no bra, no eyebrows” does speak to me deeply. 

So many questions:

But if that’s really true, why make the comment about being like R Kelly? It doesn’t seem like something you would reference if what you thought was happening was really on the up and up. 

Rottis are absolutely beautiful and every one that I’ve met has been a big mush of love. I feel sorry for people who stay away from certain breeds because of what they THINK they know -- they miss out on all the love.