True story, almost couldn’t get a new driver’s license last week despite having my SS card, my passport, my birth certificate, my out-of-state license, and three different pieces of mail with my current address because the pieces of mail came in envelopes with plastic windows, “which could be used to replace the mail…

Second the Ipsy, also nominate BoxyCharm. It’s more expensive, but usually contains at least one full size product and generally has more stuff I like.

Mario, Wario, and a Koopa Troopa who had to be bribed heavily to sit still with a giant pillow on her back.

Hey! That’s not fair. I have the same reaction to things like that and I truly cannot help it. Got to pet a baby Siberian tiger in college = crying in every picture. Went snorkeling for the first time = cried into my mask. Saw a dolphin AND seals at the same time (in the wild)= cried and jumped up and down like I won…

When it’s slow, sure, but when it’s busy (at least here in NYC) sometimes I can’t find a free employee to save my life. Also, I see someone using a tester directly on their face every single time I go. Foul.

Yeah mine has a life jacket too. The problem is that she wants to jump in AND out over and over again.

Yes to be clear, my dog is NOT a “sea” dog because she has to be physically held down from jumping out of any boat, canoe, kayak, etc we’ve ever tried to put her in (and then trying to jump back in immediately and then jump back out. It’s super fun). Several times on this morning’s walk, I had to stop her from…

A lot of “sea” dogs I know have been trained to go over the side. (As I imagine the women were also doing).

So same. Now I want a baby hippo and a baby wombat. At a 2 year old’s birthday party, I told his parents that he was reaching the age where I believe he should be sent away (along with all children until they are adults). They were horrified. What?

Right. A lot of people think my dad is a cool dude because he did stuff like go to Woodstock and he can talk politics for hours. A cool dude to have a coffee with and talk about the failings of the DNC does not = a caring and attentive father. And I have to imagine that’s what Frances and other children of…

I mean, when I was ten I probably would have eaten it too because my parents barely allowed any sugar. But when I was ten, I lived in New England, and this seems to be a midwestern (and southern?) thing. And now as an adult, I’m not sad to have missed this opportunity.

You got me! My mouth is watering. Tell me more about the one with marshmallows and chunks of fruit. (Also I’m writing this from beyond the grave because I died from being grossed out).

This is fascinating. What is not fascinating is all the jello + solid foods + mayo discussions happening as a result. I have gone from the joy of finding a new phrase to use to deep sadness and depression from having jello salad visions stuck in my head. Curse you PatFanda!

Laughing herself to butter? I have never heard this phrase. The rest of the sentence sounds like my dream so I assume it’s a good thing.

I even tried getting my armpits lasered (the only place where the hair is dark enough to attempt) and after a few months of no growth, right back to what they were before. It’s not fair!!!

Same, but also why is this not true of other hair I routinely yank from my body (I’m looking at you, ‘stache and bikini line)? I miss my eyebrows every day.

Really really appreciate where Jimmy Kimmel is coming from....but please stop telling people to support the Red Cross. They suck.

Um, maybe you’re making a joke, but just in case you really believe that, you’re completely wrong. I’m married to someone who works there.

Guys, you should update this article because they are taking these down according to the email I received this morning from the petition I signed:

You can do it! In the time during and since, I’ve paid off my college loans, paid off my car, got myself out of credit card debt, and I have a real savings account (in NYC!!). In the span of your lifetime, this is just a blip.