I wish I could post the video of my husband being forced to watch it with me (it was on cable TV so it was even worse because they cut out the nudity and swearing). Unfortunately, he is only wearing his boxers and there’s a joint in his hand so he won’t let me share it, but it’s basically just a video of him laughing…

I don’t want to be one of “those people” but do you worry that supporting this movie with your money only encourages them to make more? And I know that you and your friend get it, but some of the people who see it must not get it, thus only perpetuating all the bullshit about relationships that this movie spews,…

Not a lot of Brooks Brothers shops near you? (I’m only teasing and I only know about them because I grew up in CT where many people dress their little boys like the douchebag finance bros they are destined to be). PS- kids’ loafers are $90 at BB.

If they raise their kids anything like the uber rich people I used to nanny for, it’s because they have literally been training them since birth. All the kids I watched knew to shake hands, call adults Mr. Moneybags or Mrs. Married Well, and could behave in nice restaurants. That’s not to say that they didn’t…

SO MUCH SAME. I was never into scary movies but of course it was selected for a sleepover birthday of a girl I thought was really cool so I watched the whole thing and then spent the next three years checking every sink and tub for blood before shutting the bathroom door. In my early 20s, I caught about 5 minutes of…

Yeah, my mom saw that my dad wasn’t ever really good with kids but married him and got pregnant (twice)anyway and surprise surprise, my dad was totally disinterested in us. Not surprisingly, they are divorced now. A great example of why you should marry the person as they are, not as how you think they will be once…

#teamjealousbecausemyhairistoolightforlaser Saddest consultation of my life. Lighter hair that has been lasered could cause MORE hair to grow. Couldn’t take the chance. They recommended electrolysis (which is more money, pain, and time). #teamwaxforlife?  

Except he wasn’t. They were long gone when he arrived (I know because I watched him land from my office around 9pm). And despite everyone hating him, there were crowds waiting to watch him land and none of them had signs.

This happened to me a few months ago. I normally have my AirDrop set to contacts only, but had set it on “everyone” to send something to my work computer and then forgot to change it back. I used to ride into work with my husband and one day, within moments of him getting off (at the time he got off a few stops before…

Yes, it’s a real name. Her father lives in the same town as my father-in-law and that’s the name he uses.

Exactly. Even when your mom is “Carrie Fisher”, to Billie, she’s just mom and that’s not something I would want from my mom on a regular basis. I much prefer my mom’s “weirdest” quirk, which is saying “supposeably” even though she is a well-educated, well-spoken adult.

Hey, what the hell? I have been getting high every day for probably 10 years and I am NOT skinny. When I’m high I LOOOOOVE junk food, because I’m a cliche, and I am not skinny. #Fakenews

It was mostly a bunch of stoned friends laughing and floating (but in full disclosure I do allow myself to smoke cigarettes on vacation, but they weren’t scattered everywhere. I use a glass for the butts and then sing “Good news! Cigarette juice!”)

Same. I had mine last year at a rental house by the beach. We sat by the pool, drinking and smoking all weekend and it was amazing! So much so that we just had my Second annual bachelorette weekend and while we were there, we drunkenly planned a 2.5 after I told them about Potcake Place (google it if you’re into…

Not to dox myself too much, but I live in a very nice part of Brooklyn and I’m pretty sure I saw a human turd this morning as I was walking my dog. And we don’t have a big homeless population so it was likely just a drunk (white) person (probably with a mop of brown hair on his head and a stupid name that rhymes with…

As a dog owner that adopted from the town dog pound and was, putting it kindly, not fully informed about my dog’s issues, you’re probably not wrong. But I think in this case, that’s besides the point. From the outside, this situation looks like it was more than she bargained for and wasn’t willing to put the effort…

You know you/your partner could not wear a condom and also not ejaculate inside of the other person, right?

Save your sympathy for grandma. Way Olds are just as likely to get STDs because they are having sex in their active elderly communities and not using condoms because they don’t have to worry about pregnancy.

My hip-before-their-time parents did the tree thing. Which, eh kind of cool, but also not only do we not live at the house that has the trees, but we sold the property a few years ago, so now someone else has my placenta-fed apple tree. They should be enjoying apples (it takes like 10 years for an apple tree to…

Same. I do some international travel and it was fantastic to have for that but I also travel domestically a few times a month for work and the lounges are never in the right terminal for me to use.

Same. I do some international travel and it was fantastic to have for that but I also travel domestically a few…