I always love reading a fashion blogger's review of a show that they clearly thought was terrible, but can't come out and say so or they won't be invited back - they'll find anything they possibly can to praise while avoiding saying anything at all about the collection overall. It's "the detailing on this one…

Where have I heard something like this before...

Read the Rapey Emails of American University's 'Secret Fraternity'

I have a friend who is related to the Howard family, which counts Kathryn Howard and Anne Boleyn (along with a whole shitload of Game-of-Thrones-esque scheming aristocratic douchebags) as members, and I was always sort of jealous.

I wouldn't say it's my favourite fact about myself, but I've been researching my family history for shits and giggles and I think I'm related to Blackbeard.

That's classified.

Depends what you're looking for, really! There are some lovely bars and cafes and it's great for brunch (Bumpkin and Bluebird are my favourites), but definitely on the expensive side... it's more of a residential area so not so much to do outside of shopping and eating, but absolutely gorgeous if you just fancy a…

AGREED on The 39 Steps!

The Tower of London actually really is worth a visit if you're into history at all! An absolutely fascinating history with buildings from almost every era since it was built, several fascinating exhibits and the Crown Jewels to boot. Also I'd recommend the British Museum and the V & A museum - touristy but both…

I'm a 23-year-old former fanfic writer currently wrestling with a fantasy novel about pirates - I feel you!

JESUS DIES

(Puts my "Smug Book Reader" hat on)

(Puts my "Smug Book Reader" hat on)

Hear, hear.

You don't need to worry about No.3. That has to be invoked by an Act of Parliament and it was really only put there in case of a Sarah Palin situation.

Do you reckon he ever runs into Glen Coco?

Yeah, but I CAN get off without one. I don't want to be reliant on using vibrators when it isn't necessary.

No, there isn't - but if I did that regularly, I'd have no hope of getting off the old-fashioned way at all, and I think that'd be a real shame.

Funnily enough, the more I masturbate the less likely I am to get off with a partner. I get so used to a certain kind of touch or technique (or so used to a vibrator) that a guy hasn't got a hope of replicating it, since he can't feel it.

There are now officially two things on this planet that make me feel broody. Little kids wearing so much ski gear they look like the Michelin Man and can only move by waddling, and this picture.