Vomiting is no reason to end a night if you can just be sensible about it.

Apparently, I need to move to Boston. Nine times out of ten I go to a bar with a buddy because we haven't hung out in a while (getting married and having kids will do that) and want to catch up over few beers. I can't tell you how many times we start catching up then, five minutes later, the lights dim and the…

I live in Boston, what shitty bar did you attend that has a noise level rule, so that I may never go there?

I would complain about it being unamerican, but it really is the ultimate conclusion to money equaling speech. Definitely a greater scourge in my life than political campaign commericals, that's for sure.

Women fucking trash bar bathrooms. ''Here, I will just piss all over the place and then flush the toilet with my foot. Geez, did I break the handle? Better take a picture of it to show my friends"

Do you make $88 every hour on the lapotop? Had you been fired from work for five months but last month your payment was $15417 just working on the laptop for a few hours? Is this why you don't go out? If so I don't blame you.

Anecdote is not the plural of data, but I can be pretty loud when in my cups, and have yet to encounter any brushback in ten years of attending Boston-area barrooms...

Yeah, I should have gotten into that, I'm glad you brought it up. One night I was at a really hip-ass bar in the East Village (Hi-Fi, if you happen to know the neighborhood) and I got drunk and clever and decided to spend $20 or whatever to play Van Halen 2 in its entirety, and after like the third song the bartender…

Once, while standing at a bar, I threw up on the guy sitting on a stool in front of me. remarkably, he didn't notice, so I just moved down a bit and carried on.

Yup, you're right. If it's built into the system and the bartenders routinely offer it, then it's part of the party and I'm all for it. I was thinking (and should have done a better job of explaining) that I was more thinking of people who say "I like Blue Moon," and you say, "Sorry, we have Hoegaarden instead" and…

Huh, I'm not that widely traveled, but I hadn't noticed Boston to be unusually quiet, at least compared to NYC (again, I don't get out much ...). Boston people aren't very friendly, though, so I can see that translating to an impatience for anyone else's enthusiasm or conversation. Your point is noted and I will see…

Why go to restaurants when you can make your own meal at home for less? Why go to museums and visit other countries when you can just look it up online? Why hang out with friends when you can send a text? Why have sex when you can jerk off? You get my point...

Oh totally. And every now and then a bartender will slide you a shot or comp your 4th beer or whatever. I'm not opposed to being on the receiving end of thorough or generous service, but I mean it kinda like the same way "Yeah, and sometimes the woman WILL want to go home with you, but that's not up to you."

hero

If you throw up, keep it in your mouth and swallow it so there's no mess. I did this once so I wouldn't get kicked out and it was horrible.

Who the fuck wants to pay $5 for a glass of 60 minutes IPA?

The adults at bars for grown ups are totally fine with your decision.

#2, I would think, would depend on the type of bar you're at. The two I typically frequent (both craft brew-specific bars) make it an expectation that you sample before you buy (for "educational purposes," no doubt). That said, I would never do such a thing a full-service, "regular" bar, especially a busy one. …

My favorite bar encourages folks to taste the beer before they buy if they are uncertain.

2. Don't Ask for Samples (When the Bartender is in the weeds.)