I’ll tolerate mayo on a sandwich so long as it’s a very thin spread, but biting into a blob of it is disgusting. No one seems to want to prepare a sandwich with a thin spread of mayo, preferring to collect the mayo in large pockets spread throughout the sandwich, so I’ve just taken to asking for no mayo. Whenever I…

Tlaib asked Cohen, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African-Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shithole countries,’ and refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend and still be racist?” He responded, “Yes.”

It’s less dangerous to vape weed than smoke it, but it’s certainly not safer to vape nicotine than smoke cigarettes.

If they were experts at anything, they wouldn’t be police.

Oh shit—I just found a transcript from the show:

Oh shit—I just found a transcript from the show:

I could pick anything from The Venture Bros, but my favorite is when the members of SPHINX are showing that they don’t keep secrets from each other, and one of the SPHINX operatives says “I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I’m straight as an arrow.” It’s a reference to MTV’s knockoff version of…

California doesn’t dictate federal law. California wants to shape California’s laws to appease its residents because that’s how government is supposed to work. Other states see the advantages, and they join in with the California regulations. The only interaction at the federal level is that the federal government—up…

I guess you’re blocked on a specific computer, because I blocked you on my computer at home, but I can see you just fine here on my work computer. If the AV Club weren’t getting sold for parts and likely losing Kinja, I’d have to notify the maker of Kinjamprove.

Anyway, your argument here boils down to you being a…

Thanks for reminding me to ignore you. To be clear, I gave you about 400 chances, though.  

What do you mean by “fake profile?” Are you, in reality, a gimpy dingo?

You’re working pretty hard to defend yourself when all you did was make a poorly constructed--and not funny—joke. I’m sure it’s possible to make a good joke about man buns, but I just don’t think you have it in you. Keep trying, though. I’m…

I thought comparing you to Jay Leno would be an insult, but now I think that would be giving you too much credit.  Jeff Dunham, maybe?

Feel free to take four days to respond this time.

I certainly hope that things get better in the UK.  Thanks for reminding me that there are problems in the US, like I don’t fucking know already.

But don’t lecture me.

I’m sure Trump will do a huge amount of damage. There is no reason any other nation should trust the US after Trump. But the same thing was true after Bush, and then Obama repaired a lot of that. I’m also sure we can undo nearly all of his policies. We can add more justices to the Supreme Court. We can rejoin the…

You’re right, those numbers apply to all armed forces. Thanks for helping to strengthen my point.

If it helps me to understand you better, please feel free to use a joke about those gosh darn millennials eating tide pods, that ought to be as insightful as your man bun material.

Am I having a petty argument with Jay…

Yes, I’m sure the EU will be thrilled to have you back. They certainly will be glad to do so without any hugely punitive measures. Also, I’m a fucking imbecile.

Sure, me and my cohorts will just move somewhere that there are no jobs. Great plan. You’ve got us all figured out. You do know that without a job in the US,…

About 1 million men served in the US army.
About 3.5 million men served in the British Army.
No one knows for sure how many Russian soldiers there were, but it’s estimated that over 30 million served, and 11 million were killed.

Americans didn’t clean up a god damn thing. We helped the British distract the Germans while…

If it were a one-to-one comparison, it wouldn’t be a fucking analogy. As it is, yes, they are comparable, you fucking pedant. Do you know how any of this works?

Also, Brexit hasn’t happened yet, but when it does, it will basically be permanent. Trump is a temporary problem. We can get rid of Trump, and we can fix a lot…

If you Britons have got a great solution to stopping Trump, please step right up.