I wound suggest a hovercraft. It should be good for everything but the really rocky stuff.

What?! Why?

Oh.. uh..

Please buy a Toyota Previa SC AWD. We had one when I was a kid and it was awesome. My dad used to let me help change the oil. The engine’s under the driver seat!

Yet another stain on the reputation of light-duty diesels in North America. Maybe not as colossal as the Oldsmobile diesel, but certainly not doing any favors.

They’re Europeans. They will love Milwaukee. Sausages, Beer and Cheese, we’re literally a bastard child of Germany.

So they’re going to take a European Harley Davidson enthusiast, who most likely learned everything they know about American culture from watching Baywatch, and send them to Wisconsin?

*brakes may not work.

If only VW had just made all their cars unnaturally big and strong like East German swimmers.

Yeah, the lifespan of the emissions system will definitely be shorter once the car actually starts using all those complex, expensive devices it’s been bypassing.

Um, you are aware that the Federal Republic of Germany and German Democratic Republic were (as in past tense, because one no longer exists...) two unique and separate states right?

They wont break them, but they might only work intermittently from now on and only when you don’t want them to.

Cool, is EPA going to fine Ford for driving software that inflates their Ecoboost MPG figures?

Initially I thought I was just having some fun with Volkswagen for that sales figures column on Tuesday.

As someone that breathes air, I’m more leaning toward “Jackass”.

Not sure if I think they’re cooler or jackasses for this. Damn you, cognitive dissonance.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GUYS?

This is fantastic information, thank you. A follow up?

Let’s see, where were we?

I’m holding out for the E-Series Cutaway RS now, Torch...