On the other hand it'd also be cool if you got hit by a rocket launcher.

Yeah, but it still works here on “The Onion” . . .wait. . .this isn’t “The Onion?”

I feel like this is more of a Dine In situation. 

The Salty Waitress would definitely have opinions about this.

This should have been published on The Takeout

Lethal Weapon pulled in good ratings

Umm, Lethal Weapon was terrible 

Wow. You are a regular Isaiah Fucking Bowman.

Somewhere in his organization there is a slew of accountants doing a cost/benefit analysis of upgrade v.s paying the fines.

I’m in the same boat. I was hanging out with some friends a while back, and we got on the topic of how much ‘we’ contribute to RRSPs.

You mistakenly believe that your version of Christianity is the only one.

Grab your pussy hats and anti-Trump signs, it looks like we got a protest planned!

I’m going to hazard a guess that you have no experience with grants management particularly at a federal level. To say there are no requirements for performance or outcomes is ludicrous (at least in the programs I have experience with). There are political and social issues that impact initial and continued funding…

So basically, I got mine so fuck you.

I understand the frustration that can build up between BOH and FOH over the pay gap, but just remember that the rich want us fighting over scraps with each other while they continue to stagnant wage increases, pass right to work laws, and otherwise keep all of us working at a grind to nowhere. I’m happy to tip out BOH.…

This guy gets it

I figure my wife and kids will enjoy my retirement. Being who I am, I figure I’m lucky to hit 60. 

That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.