I pray for poor health for him and his family every day.  If only God was real and we didn’t live in this dumpster fire of a world full of idiots.

Now that’s gotta be a lie.

I’m starting to wonder at what point she’ll go from unknowing dimwit to playing the role of dimwit or if she’s already realized that and made that transition or if we’ll even know when it happens.

The very clear border between his orange make-up or bronzer or whatever the hell it is is also quite surreal.

Okay, it was interesting the first time I read it, but on the 7000th load screen it just gets old. The encyclopedia would have been a much better place for it. Also, watch out for those level 50 chickens. They’re tough.

We in the rural south prefer Fla Vor Aid brand drink mix, thank you very much. Grape flavored, specifically.

Your use of hyperbole is excellent and I starred you for that.

God yes they matter!!! I feel like I spent days and days watching loading screens just for Fallout and the last two Assassin’s Creeds games. Odyssey is the worst because I can’t even like run around and flail and do sweet cuts and hops and stuff. I just have to look at that stupid glowing pyramid and watch the same…

I had / have Flamefeather. Can confirm it was pretty janky in general. He was usually the one I loaned out to people who came to play that I didn’t particularly care for.

I’ll wait for the Tom Tom Club tour.  

Nah, I’m sitting in Morrisville right now and can report that the people in this town are not on the whole very decent.

All these commenters are missing the real question and that is, of course, what did the Dessert Hater tip? They better have tipped at least 20% with a smile or they’re obviously server hating heathen pig-dogs who don’t deserve to eat at a fine dining establishment (that will totally forget about your food because…

There’s always the third option, we can all die together. That’s my favorite.

Well not to all of us. Those Italians and Irish are still trash people to me, with their swarthy mustaches and small potato farming hands.

I like this theory. Maybe they’re already living on Venus and they’re just preparing Earth to become the next Venus.

I guess Damon Wayans WAS getting too old for that shit.

Any regular Salty readers would know that it almost always come down to a matter of tipping.

Thank you for researching and explaining this. I was feeling too lazy to look it up.

You tip one large dumper right in their stupid moisturized, botoxed, and surgically improved faces.