In other news, water is wet and sky is blue.

I bet you loved The Blind Side too.

Were the reporters, cameraman, or guard wearing a MAGA hat, b/c if they were, then Don Jr. will be interested.

I thought that movie would be terrible, but it was actually pretty good. The only thing I really hated was Katie Holmes’ horrible accent.

She’s probably popping oxy’s or valium while tweeting about how shitty vaccines are.

If the congressman likes Civil War biographies, he really should read the Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant it is a great two volume account of his life up to the end of the Civil War. He also wrote about the two sides coming together which may be appropriate now:

I agree. Why should I trust these cheese eating surrender monkeys?

If I even make it to be old, I’m planning on taking myself out before it gets too shitty. Time takes and takes and takes, without regret or remorse.

The very best Kinja!

Probably Carlos Mencia.

Or all those losers she’s giving handjobs to. I like to call it “roughing up the suspect”.

I think it is. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him that I had to look him up.

I always liked this one:

I do this as well and my family thinks I’m nuts. I don’t want it flat but I really don’t want SO many bubbles in it. Diet Dr. Pepper is especially bad for being over-carbonated and takes forever to get the excess carbonation to escape.

I thought you would sing Daisy.

Don’t take someone else’s inventory, man.

You mean these?

“Dipshit” kinda works here, but the word you want is “asshole” as in, “anus”

Yeah, he should’ve won it for Frogs way back in 1972.

Can confirm.