I tried the LI iced tea they had on $1 special and they were incredibly short with a TON of ice and a server who was in no hurry to give you refills.  I managed to drink three during our meal and felt not even a buzz.  More like I’d just gargled tequila flavored Coke.

Here’s the one I use every Thanksgiving to the delight of all those attending:

I was hoping you’d tell them to take the tip they intended to leave, light it on fire at the table, and warm themselves over their server’s loss in wages and the burning stares of all the civilized people around them who always tip 20% or more.

“I’m going to the dunny to murder a brown snake.”

Australians...they’re the worst.

Yes, it’s a real thing, but you must dress like a cow to get the free sandwich.

Ralphie, get off the stage sweetheart.

Rocks don’t kill people, people kill people.

Truth!!

This is perfect except it’s missing one important element, the part where they try to get out of tipping.

That’s not very badass at all.

You didn’t mention one of my go to ways of playing long games with limited time. The all night playing sessions on the weekend. I’ll spend Friday playing a game until around 4 or 5, go to sleep for 4 hours, get up and do Saturday stuff. Maybe take a nap if I’m lucky, and then play Saturday night into Sunday until 3 or…

You’ll need to copy in Carol in HR as well to make sure your contact details are up to date.

The reality you expect is often the one you get.

Then every Sunday they eat Jesus’ body and drink his blood.

That burned sadness tastes like my childhood.

Dalessandros is my favorite answer. 

Right, so he shouldn’t even have a spine to begin with. 

She’s the one who licked a donut.

She’ll have to go to his house and smack the dick out of his mouth.