They are a thing!

I went to the countryside surrounding Syracuse once and it was almost indistinguishable from the mountains of North Carolina.

I don’t think this is so weird. I can’t eat for usually a few hours after I get up or I’ll feel nauseous, so most of the time, the best I can do, is brunch. Usually I just skip it though and drink some coffee.

For me it’s often bologna from the deli.

Did they specify if you could use a cup that is suitable for an ostrich’s egg? Because I could be down with that.

I personally hated the lunch meat the most. If I wanted to slap some meat on a sandwich I’d just stay home. There was no reason to go there except if you really just needed something for lunch and weren’t near your house. I also hated that their spinach was often limp and sad and sometimes slimy.

Shit sandwich by a landslide.

It also doesn’t account for the vodka he spilled around his glass (or down his naked body) when attempting to pour or otherwise get the vodka into his mouth.  I’m guessing that didn’t do wonders for his fire control. 

Cookie Puss or Fudgie the Whale?

He speaks the truth, dude.

He was in one of my favorite episodes of Always Sunny so he’s still tops in my book.

Country Mac was so so so much better, but she was effective.

This may be one of the most British posts I’ve seen in a long time.

I would kill for one of those things.

If it’s anything like the pizza place I go to, the entire kitchen and counter staff is high a shit. They make some great pizza though.

I meant the default answer for this column, not the answer to everything.  

I once joked that, given enough tip money, the servers would probably help you hide a body.

Just to clarify, I meant the tipping is the go to answer here, not that I personally am 100% behind the whole system itself.

I personally look forward to all the dusting swaying balls and crusty pubes.

I like how you broke this down. Do you work for an insurance company or something? 

I was thinking about the time I picked up a baby bat and put it back on a tree limb as it had fallen from somewhere. Now I wonder if it had rabies. It was probably last summer though. I washed my hands and didn’t let it bite me, but maybe I was closer to dying than I thought.