He speaks the truth, dude.

He was in one of my favorite episodes of Always Sunny so he’s still tops in my book.

Why not try a reversal and shoot them after the T’s and P’s? Maybe that’ll help somehow. 

Country Mac was so so so much better, but she was effective.

This may be one of the most British posts I’ve seen in a long time.

I would kill for one of those things.

If it’s anything like the pizza place I go to, the entire kitchen and counter staff is high a shit. They make some great pizza though.

I meant the default answer for this column, not the answer to everything.  

I once joked that, given enough tip money, the servers would probably help you hide a body.

Just to clarify, I meant the tipping is the go to answer here, not that I personally am 100% behind the whole system itself.

I personally look forward to all the dusting swaying balls and crusty pubes.

I like how you broke this down. Do you work for an insurance company or something? 

I was thinking about the time I picked up a baby bat and put it back on a tree limb as it had fallen from somewhere. Now I wonder if it had rabies. It was probably last summer though. I washed my hands and didn’t let it bite me, but maybe I was closer to dying than I thought. 

Is Plymouth Gin too pretentious?

Didn’t even read the response, just came straight here. Isn’t tipping always the answer?

The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this comment:

You may be entering a Twilight Zone style time vortex just by entering the store. I’ve been in a few of these and it was truly bizarre. It was like, “I don’t think these Gremlins 2 bubble gum cards are retro, I think they have the original gum in there.”

I was a Round Up boy myself, but would take a Stallion if my sister offered. Thems were the days.

Are you perhaps thinking of Philip Seymour Hoffman? For some reason those two guys are kind of interchangeable in my head.

Came here for Pig Vomit. Was not disappointed. Stars for you.

Maybe he just didn’t have time for this shit. We’ve all been there.