Looks like women's soccer just laid an egg.

Things got awkward for everybody when Tebow at last pulled the one-armed bandit and Peter North cried out in pain.

Tebow, having been tempted by the flesh, returned to his room to seek strength in the word of God, but was only further titillated upon opening his Vegas-provided Bible to find the Book of Blow Job.

Don't thank me, thank the baby Jesus. And Osiris. And Tammuz. And Krishna. And Ra.

Similarly, the Greek logos got an update when the Stoics, in contradistinction to the Sophists, conceived of it as the divine animating principle of the universe, and again when Judeo-Christians identified it as the thing through which all things are made, and again when a New York programming director pegged it as…

Meanwhile, Glen Davis's young son was chanting, "Let's go eat! Let's go eat!"

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And Heidi Montag gave all her friends huggs to celebrate her super-big appearance.

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Deadspin is now reporting that until such time that it consults with its in-house lawyers, who in turn are consulting with a Fourth-Estate forensics expert to determine if A.J. did in fact kill the site, Deadspin shall be known as Livespin.

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Kill? No.

If my time in the sorority house is any indication, and I think it is, we can all expect to experience Blood Week at exactly the same time.

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Bin Laden'd? I don't know about that, but I did get Ben Matlock'd once. Woke up with a seersucker suit shoved deep in my bunghole, and the feeling that I was the guilty party.

The sign is usually flashing, so it's kind of hard to say.

That always puts me in the Christmas spirit.

Billing period? When holding out for more money from the producers of 19 Kids and Counting, that's what Michelle Duggar calls her menstrual cycle.

The best airport book I've ever read is Larry Craig's Tap Three Times — Tap!Tap!Tap! — On My Loafer If You Want Me.