Oh, it makes sense that you were confused! I’ve had a tonnnnnnnnn of friends get married so I’ve Googled this extensively, and I would hope any bride/mother of the bride would, too, before sending invites out. If not, that’s on the people who sent the invites...not you.

Okay, done. I just grew up. Thank you!

So you take them, and don’t really get to socialize with adults.

My family is big on letting kids come to weddings, too, but there are so many babies in my family/among my friends right now that it would have been a circus. It would have been a 100-adult wedding with 40 children. (I was the last of many Catholic cousins and Catholic school friends to get married). Or, the fanciest…

If it says cock-anything or tail-anything, it should be automatically adult.

“Well, your invite didn’t say not to bring my 4 kids, my dog, my neighbor’s kids, and the uber driver who was really nice on the way over here so I invited him up. Oh and we all wore assless leather pants because the invite didn’t specify attire.”

Ya, no.  Not everything needs to be spelled out.  Some things “aren’t…

It’s a “cocktail party.”  It’s by name an adult event, named for an adults-only activity of drinking adult-only beverages.  People who don’t get that children are by default not part of such an event are socially illiterate, full stop. 

Horseshit it’s “as good as he can send.”

It is. People who don’t interpret that are socially illiterate.

The name of the party literally implies that the primary purpose will be people drinking alcohol, an event that specifically excludes children by its very nature.  

The right text to send is the honest one: “Hey, I have the kids this weekend and want to spend time with them. Do you mind if I bring them, or would they be out of place?”

THIS. My first friend-wedding after high school had a line for guests on the invite, but she assumed that since the invite only said our names, we should have assumed it was a one-person only invite. We traveled 8+ hours and all brought guests (which we indicated on the RSVPs, so they at least weren’t a surprise), and…

Who takes a 4 and a 2 year old on an evening outing?

If it says plus guest, you most definitely got a plus one! If you’re ever uncertain in the future, you can always email or text the bride or groom and say, “Hey! I see I have an option to bring a guest. Can I bring my boyfriend, _______, or is the head count kind of tight?” Easy! But they really shouldn’t say,…

Dear Salty,

“Your invitation didn't say NOT to bring a firearm!" 

just give him a tip, at least 20%.  also, maybe tip the kids.

counterpoint.

Your mom always referred to you as her “little dreamkiller”.

Just say no to kids. I mean seriously, just text your friend back and say “no kids” and leave it at that. If they turn up with the kids anyway tell them sorry but not sorry, they have to go. If they, the adult, kicks up a fuss and so blatantly disrespects your wishes, then they were not your friend anyway.

Fuck trophies