But even the Vermont Country Store sells “intimate massagers” these days!

I hear you can make your own vibrator using a potato, some wire, and a quarter.

That’s doubly difficult being a man, but I’m sure it was that machine was under a lot of pressure.

Oh I’m sure the Queen Mother had the first diesel-powered vibrator. Long live the Queen!

but I bet Charles and Camilla like to get weird.

I could have very well been working on Marriage #2, but “living in sin” with Mr. Duck is contentment enough.

I recently re-watched that movie and was like WAIT WHAT?! Also, I’m supposed to believe that Julia Roberts’s character was some uber-successful, world-renowned food critic at the age of 27? Suuuuure.

I’m not a body language expert. But she seems to be angling away from Hills here. And the hands clasped just a liiiitttle too tight.

and also undercooked turkey! (thanks for the salmonella, granny.) if it’s pink, you should rethink.

Oh my god Abbi is right. 28?! Holy fuck. I didn’t realize that was the age of desperation.

It looks like Hillary’s not really there and Jamie Lee is just smiling at a wig and a jacket.

I’m sure Kim’s dress is couture yet somehow it still looks like she picked it up at Bebe.

people are crazy

“Hope Hicks” is also a key part of the RNC’s voter turnout strategy.

Bobby, I LIVE for your made up convos. Please make them their own feature.

“Then I had this moment of panic because a puppy without a collar is a stray; they don’t have anyone to look after them. [...] It’s a sad thing to say, but there’s not love from the heart in me for Colin–but what I have got is someone who is there for me and I’m happy with that.”

This doesn’t sound super healthy? If…

Far be it from me to tell consenting adults what to do, but whenever I read about stuff like this I always wonder, how do you discover that this is your kink? Do you see dogs and think, ‘that looks chill’? Because I don’t have a kink (yet) and if I am missing out on something I want to know.

“Even when I worked in PC World I would sometimes walk up to people and nip at their shirt. I got in trouble once; someone walked into the PC repair centre and I had part of their dad’s computer in my mouth. But the other staff knew I was like that to everyone. They didn’t find it weird.”

Oh god yes! I’ve put tiger balm on my bad knee then not washed my hands well enough and touched myself a little. THE PAIN, oh lord the pain.

If this had happened to me, it wouldn’t be posted in the comedy section, it would be under crime because I surely would have killed him when I saw him holding out the pepper.