true story. watched a monkey slap an old lady and take her groceries in south africa. he was on top of her car. i’ve always been suspicious of monkeys, but that sealed it. also, their beady little dead eyes.

uggggh, pope!! i’m disappointed but not surprised. now slovenia, i’m disappointed AND surprised. you’re one of my favorite countries!

have been waiting for a thread to discuss this movie with spoilers!!! taking my kids on wednesday. my girls will love it. my son is elementary age and is special needs so his reactions are times 1000. i can imagine how the “bridge scene” is going to play out in the theater and it’s not gonna be pretty for us.

meth can make you do some weird shit. but at least you remember to let mom know you love her. that shit’s important.

on the lam??? just call him MINT JELLY!!! ...sorry...

john mayer, i hate that you are such a doooooooosh! as a longtime and committed deadhead, i am having some serious problems with you! i hate you, but your musical abilities fit in so well on this tour. it’s just that i hate you so much. you are also dragging some seriously annoying girls into my shows where i just…

so i run scheduling and programs at a very hippie-esque non-profit and we do one of those adopt a family xmas trees where you pick the tag and buy the present on it for an area family in need at xmas. one tag says 17 y.o. boy: axe body spray and i just want to pick it and get him something nicer and classy.

still my celebrity crush after all these years! probably because he was my mother’s celebrity crush when i was a kid.

“people are dumb.” i use that sentence so many times, every day.

while it is “judgy”, yes, she looks lovely and, i don’t know, free? i know i started feeling a lot better about myself when i just was able to quit wearing makeup and feel okay about it. too each their own!!

As someone who just does not take bullshit, I refute this claim. I am a period-user in text messages.

as a master pie baker (i’m literally referred to as “the pie lady”, which i realize makes me sound like a 70 year old woman) i am utterly and completely disgusted by this atrocity.

dolphin was probably trying to do something gross to you. i once watched a national geographic documentary about dolphins and i have been ever-after convinced that they are foul, evil, disgusting animals. every time i see a lady with a dolphin tattoo, i shudder. first: because dolphin. second: because dolphin tattoo.

You know, we give her shit in the Tweet-Beat, but I swear to any god, if I watched my husband be murdered, I wouldn’t be able to string together anything coherent for a long ass time. That kind of stuff (obviously) changes you. Can we take this reminder to be a bit more gentle to her, and each other?

how are we coping this week? not well. trying. trying. trying... so glad i’ve got a husband who, may not totally understand my anxiety, loves me and hears what i’m saying and just tries to help out more with our 3 kids when i’m acting completely weird.

hugs to you! we lost our 7 year old maltipoo two weeks ago and we are still devastated. our youngest is 7 as well and didn’t ever know a time before our pup. it’s so hard and i’m sorry you have to deal with it.

i’m starting to understand the many reasons the hospital should not have given me an ambien when i was in labor but not dilating. they said “go home. sleep. wait.”, I said, “but i’ve been in labor for hours, i’m in pain, how can i sleep?” “here, take this ambien” “sure thing!” 1.5 hours later current then (now ex)…

thanks boss! i think we do pretty good!

as of next week, i’ll be the parent of a 13 year old girl. i’m just grateful for the “our whole lives” program we signed her up for that’s giving her honest and open sexual education and for cartoons like “steven universe” where the idea of “fusion” being a metaphor for sex and that being okay.

ya know? as someone living at 100% below the poverty level with 3 kids, i’m always hoping that’s how they remember their childhood. with fondness. my husband is always telling them we are “dirt rich”. we’ve got a farm and love and that’s pretty good. i’m always telling them that someday they are going to be able to…