When I heard The Cure as grocery store music I knew I was officially an old.

I was talking about GN’R and Metallica tour to this young man I was on a date with. “Oh ‘92? Year I started kindergarten.” I am full on cougar now.

We got our nephews a robot that shoots out these foam disks. It shoots them out really fast. We got the other one a remote control WWII German tank that has authentic battle noises. We got our niece an Ana (from Frozen) dress up gown. She stripped off her clothes right away and the boys were reenacting D-Day but with…

Last year I was a big hit with the nieces and not with their parents with a book of 300 knock knock jokes. This year was a Simon game, sent with extra batteries.

More than I. I had to look up FTW. I thought it was "What the Fu*%?" backwards or something.

I don’t understand how she doesn’t get that she’s trying to win the battle to lose the war. If she legally obligated this kid to spend Christmas with her, what are the chances he’ll ever spend one with her after he’s 18?

I just wish she would R.E.S.P.E.C.T the rules? Is it too much to ask for a little respect? Just a little bit?

He knows damn well what he did.

I really don’t see much room for commentary on women’s success here, though, accidental or otherwise. It’s more about how social media and presenting an idealized image of our lives has become so all-consuming.

Say what now?! Scrooged is a classic!

Right? I loved “this is a good baby,” like he was picking out a melon at the grocery store.

ooofffff this one made me feel old when I read it!

And what will I do without BCO? WHAT WILL I DO?!

Thank you. Hard shell helmets are so incredibly dangerous it’s ridiculous. Replace them with foam and see how many people lower their heads or use them like battering rams.

That moment when your bestie’s bracelet lights up. Under the bed of your SO.

There is nothing that could make me see this movie. Nothing. The ads for it make my stomach hurt and knees feel shaky.

I think it’s an analogy for people thinking something is due to innate talent instead of education/personal betterment.

And yet when I do that I’m asked to leave the library.

Better him than Yoko!

Coincidentally, someone left the exact same note on the back of a bar napkin by the endzone of Soldier Field.