I read it in fourth grade, and I freaking loved it. I think I read it at least twice more that year, but I seem to remember skipping some of the more graphically violent scenes during the re-reads. I distinctly remember thinking that there was a very good chance that the little brown rabbit that grazed on our front…

I applaud both your reasoning and your good fortune. And if you ever get tired of the Diva, she is welcome to come to my place and kill any creepy-crawlys she can find. Does she do windows?

Rite Rudner used to have a bit about how before a couple marries, they have to be sure one of them kills spiders. Since I live alone, I’m trying to train my cats to do it, but they just want to run all over the furniture staring at them. Of course, if I keeled over, they’d have no problem eating my face.

Pretty sure “Goat Airways” is a take on G.O.A.T (greatest of all time). Sounds about egotistically right.

“Raspberry Beret” and “Little Red Corvette,” “Waterloo Sunset” and “Thank You for the Days.” Best Prince and Kinks songs, respectively.

YOU STOLE MY STICKER!!!!!!! What’s the point of voting if someone is going to steal my sticker!!!!

I voted too, but I didn’t get a sticker! Do only celebrities get stickers? I want my sticker!!!!!!!

Wait! Wait! I know this one it’s... oh, you know, the one from the... oh, never mind.

Cool!

I have no idea if this actually true or not, but this is what I was told by a member of the organization:

Seattle sucks. I lived there for the longest year of my life. It really sucks.

Calvin Trillan has been trying for years to get spaghetti carbonara to replace turkey as the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Much as I love a good turkey dinner, I support this movement wholeheartedly.

I think that they are disgusting. But that’s be cause of the “slutification” women and women’s occupations as a Halloween standard. You obviously don’t understand the difference between and dominant culture and a persecuted culture, so I’ll wait here while you do a little eighth grade social studies homework...

Please, please, please ladies - demand proper pain medication from your doctors!!!! There is no earthly reason to suffer like that when there are plenty of different medications that can be beneficial. It took me on my OB/GYN’s floor screaming at the top of my lungs and unable to move for her to really take me…

Annnnnnd once again, someone who can’t understand that just because you are free to do something doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for actions (or words, or art, etc.) White America did just about everything it could to eradicate Native American culture - up to and including kidnapping children and placing them…

I suppose it’s not possible that members of a particular faith can’t grow, and learn, and change the religion’s practices as time passes? Or that they can agree that their religious tenants are aspirational, rather than something that gets you either “punished” or “kicked out” of the religion for transgressing? Naw,…

Nope - whitest sandwich ever is potato chips and mayo on Wonder bread. Never ate it, just had a nightmare about it.

I mean, I could understand this is he was a quarterback or a starting point guard, but an academic? Seriously, UCLA, you’ve got to learn to pick your battles.

One of my sister’s friends used address any correspondence with the company to Kerr-McGee, killers of Karen Silkwood.

Spray paint the helmet pink.