Looks like nobody else is going to take this side, so I will.

Sounds like the plot to Hangover 7

Stealing a llama from a circus is simultaneously dickish and heroic.

scientists discover how to turn lead into gold. describe process as "pretty neat".

So the majority of Penn State's funds remain.... untouched?

I hope a small part of that amount was raised by the scrap-metal value of Paterno's statue.

I, personally, would not be sexually molested repeatedly for 2 million dollars.

It took me far too long to remember that this wasn't a mass shooting.

Such a touching gesture...

I bet that now everybody who condemned Sandusky feels pretty fucking stupid. Through his charitable works, these "victims" of his now have a secure financial future. He was so dedicated to helping these kids that he was willing to rape them and then go to jail for the rest of his life, just so that they could have…

I keep a beard, so:

I keep a beard, so: