"I love the ornamentals!" — 4th Gen Chinese-Canadian's 1st Gen Scottish-Canadian father in-law.

Well, I hope you're not a fucking family with the dog. ;D

I can't believe this exists but I'm so glad it does. I needed a good laugh.

I saw the photo and was like, "what's wrong with calling it a Brazil nut?!" ... NOW I KNOW AND CANNOT UNKNOW.

Do all rich teenage kids refer to their father as "daddy" and "mommy"? Somebody explain this to a poor, please.

WHAT.

I am curious about the benefits of a running skirt, but do not have the courage to buy a pair to find out.

Moral of the story: hire new help. If you ran out of milk and they didn't replenish it, they're doing it wrong.

My partner and I also brought it up early. Before we started officially dating (ugh, I know, what are we, 12?), I mentioned that I never plan to get married or have kids as they're not priorities or needs for me. Committed relationship? Yeah! Kids, not so much. Puppies? YEAH! Luckily, my suspicions were right, and it…

I can't stop laughing at your comment. Bravo.

separate wedding - my friend in toronto wanted me to come so badly she paid for my airfare and put me up at her house. her rationale was that she was spending so much on the rest of the wedding anyway that a few hundred more to have me there was worth it. :)

The world is losing its mind when it prioritizes entitlement of other people's money for your happiness. We can't be friends if I can't afford to shell out $1700+ for your wedding? You can fuck right off*.

This is basically the text version of this video:

Half an inch is probably a sore spot in their life.

I'm glad I'm not the only who that does this.

Reminds me of a child-free person I met who said "the wage gap will disappear if women just stopped having babies."

This all reads like Rob Ford's crack videos.

Going straight to hell in a septic tank?

I had a fear of the bathroom (only rooms in the house with mirrors) for the longest time as a kid. Granted, I was 7 (?) but still. Residual fear is still there!

I read this during a break at work, so I'm not going to cry but man, my allergies are really acting up today.