I am one of those millennials who has always been inclined to avoid marriage and children like the plague, and if I can’t be persuaded to change my mind at 30, with all my friends drinking the Kool-Aid and trying to pour me a glass, it ain’t never gonna happen. But I also acknowledge that this is largely due to my…

Someone else mentioned Subaru ads being non-sucky, and IMO, that’s because they tend to show people using their cars. Like, really using them, with all the dirt and grime and implied smells that most cars tend to accumulate. Which I suppose is kind of awkward, in its own way, but honestly, that’s part of the reason I…

Ethan is also my ex-boyfriend’s name. I’m sure there are non-sucky Ethans out there. I have yet to meet them.

Nope. I’m willing to be the friend who will be ready with cocktails when it’s Adults Only time, but kids annoy the everloving fuck out of me. Some of us are kid-free for a reason, and that reason is that we can’t stand kids.

I say this with the fullest conviction of my heart: babies are the scourge of the Earth. They are the most disgusting creatures alive. The miracle of birth is not the beginning of a new life or any spiritual crap. The miracle of it is that we as a species have managed to get this far without going all Jonathan Swift…

Super Bowl XLVIII. Because even though the defense earned my Broncos their long-awaited redemption story this past February, I still can’t drink hard alcohol as a result of that awful night in 2014.

I hate kids. Having some would be bad for them and worse for me. Maybe you ought to grow up and realize that being an adult means that there are some miserable things that are necessary (like earning money and paying bills) and others that are optional (like birthing and raising a smaller, uglier, noisier, smellier…

Move up to North County. You ask most of the residents if they’re watching the game, they’ll say, “You mean the surf contest?”