Fucking hell. I used that exact same excuse, and my wife was all, “Oh, really? You played on the 2004 Olympic men’s basketball team?” and I was all, “You don’t remember that?” and she was like, “no, where’s you medal?” and I was like, “You think I’m bring a fucking Bronze medal home from Sydney,” and she said, “The…

It’s true. I’ve seen the videos. The drug testers aren’t usually collecting urine tho.

Drew: Let me tell you about the time my brian exploded.

Just to be clear, Kraft is totally innocent, but video of him in a room being totally innocent, if released, would do “damage far surpassing any possible misdemeanor conviction.” Sure, pal.

In retrospect, 14% was unreasonably high. 

This is the only correct take. 

Admittedly, a tie with “Getting hit by a car” would have been pretty funny, but Frogger at #35 is just rude.

Happy Ending for Manipulative Rich Penis

[face palm]

“On Smarm” was the moment I fell in love with Gawker forever. I would also like to suggest that Diana’s “Against Allegedly” is essential reading. 

This story completely disgusted me for all the reasons you mentioned. It’s revolting.

Oh snap!

I don’t like the call either, but to play devil’s advocate, Wilson being both the player who came on for Landeskog and the player who scored the goal is the reason this got called. Landeskog’s back is to the play and he’s skating off while Wilson is coming on in prime position to see his team win the puck back and…

I was pretty bummed after the Blue Jackets couldn't get past the Bruins, so this is actually helping a tiny bit. 

For sure, more than most jobs tbh. 

Second only, perhaps, to their having done the same in the 2005 CL Final that I still can’t believe happened.

Joel Embiid, blown out, seeks a solid performance to avoid elimination.

Unrelated, stay tuned for the launch of my new Definitely Not Placebo™ brand snacks and household cleaners. When you need to chew some gum, or get gum off your shoe, don’t do it without Definitely Not Placebo™.

If there’s one thing this President simply won’t tolerate, it’s video evidence.