Dang, this is gonna take a minute to transcribe...

This news was rough, which, of course, was also how his mother took it.

Barstool Sports: A dog chasing its tail, which is wagging the dog, which is pooping.

I blame incompetent home cooks who rely on BIG EMULSION to spackle over their shortcomings. What the hell is “zing!” and why the hell do you want it in your food?!

Filed to: L-7 WEENIES

Jalop always struck me as more than a few doors to the right...

“The regular process” means what’s technically legal and President Trump’s order was just that — an order, not “pressure.” So, you see, everything’s fine! Very normal, very regular.

Move over “Thanks, Obama!” our new snarky national pastime is “One Degree of AOC."

“Yes, your honor, I read the Terms and Agreements, but to me that’s all they are — they’re just terms and we agree on what those terms are, but to call that a contract — I mean, look, that’s the real question, when are we going to put all these terms into a contract and make all this official.”

Americans were big fans of using “his Excellency” for George Washington. So, a sitting president reduced to calling himself literally “your President,” hey, this could be worse is all I’m saying.

It’s really the friends we make along the way.

Correct. Nice Google work. Can you point to the part where it says the government has to do what you petition?

Also, the “right to petition the government” doesn’t mean what I think you think it means.

Bless your heart, Patricia. 

The practice is widespread. It’s against the rules, strictly speaking, but it’s largely overlooked. Individuals are given some leeway as long as they’re discreet, but when the practice rises to a level of systemic deception, it’s inevitable that an example will be made.

The Oscars is the worst All-Star game.

That’s very nice of you to say. For what it’s worth, I’m a fan of your dad.