Lasagna showed his worth in training. He is well prepared in advance and heats up quickly for a crowd. 

Me: [Gets haircut]
Kid: [Confused] “Daddy, you don’t have hair.”
Me: “And neither will you, you little shit.”

1. Tim Hortons
2. Krispy Kreme
3. Duck Donuts
4. Dunkin’ Donuts

I’m just here to give my stars to whoever posts the Chopped gif.

To be fair, complaining about how the city has changed is also how you identify a native New Yorker.

Little Caesar’s also announced that amid a sales dip it’s slogan will similarly be amended to just, “Pizza.”

Hey, speaking of which, Chief Wahoo is finally dead and somehow that happened quietly.

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If someone doesn’t adopt Hypnic Jerk as their nom de Kinja right fucking now, I will be very disappointed.

My friend, have you ever experienced the distinct pleasure of night... terrors?

I die in my dreams with dusturbing frequency. I should probably seek professional help.

This story has truly moved me. It doesn’t matter if you’re a liberal or a conservative. We are all that tiny piece of toilet paper, hopelessly outmatched, just trying to do our damn jobs.

Wow, that’s a real bad take.

Yes.

Rodgers emphatically denied any rift, but eyebrows were raised when he added, “Mike is like a member of my own family.”

Wow, Coach Harbaugh really attacks “Homecoming” with a definition unknown to mankind.

NYHS looks great, but I’ve found the exhibits to be kind of lame and superficial. It’s trying to punch in every weight class instead of focusing on the strengths of its collection. (If you dig manuscripts and meticulously curated history, check out the Morgan Library.) That said, the overlooked children’s area on the…

“Ted Cruz... a man who drips insincerity like a candle drips wax.”

Yeah, the NBA is an argument for exactly why you -don’t- want MLB to adopt open leagues using records to determine playoff seeding

I mean, you could add a team to each league, split each league into 4-team divisions, winners go to the playoffs -- but you’d have no wild cards. Wild cards are fun! Keep wild cards. Embrace the chaos.