I could be naked in a room with every suicide girl model, snorting a mixture of cocaine and ground up viagra off their tits and if one of them said: “Wheel of Time is my favorite book series” my erection would wilt and not be returnable for like three days. Some things, only a few, are more important then sex.

Papi is a national treasure

The Lebatard Show is consitently the smartest, dumbest, most entertaining show on radio

In case you’re having trouble making out all the audio, here’s a transcript of how that all went down:

Sweet play I guess but he obviously traveled.

This was a slam dunk like a joke about the Warriors losing a 3-1 lead.

But did the Cavs blow a 3-1 point lead at any point in the game though?

I think they should get all of the Mikes they can. Mike Lupica, Mike Francesa, Mike Wise, Mike Wilbon, Mike Tyson. Just get them all in the same studio, and call the show What You Deserve For Listening to Sports Radio.

Right, sure, ok but what the coastal elites don’t understand about middle americ

“They may very well be bullshit, but given that they being read by and presumably to some extent informing the judgments of our nation’s senior political leaders and journalists, they are clearly a matter of legitimate public interest”

ATTN Serious Thinkers,

And how in the world can something be both half-baked and overcooked at the same time? At the very least it seems the writer knows a thing or two about being half-baked.

I was calling Richard Sherman a Nazi-wannabe hipster pondscum. “Ooooh. Look at me and my cute haircut. I call it a ‘fashy.’ Ain’t I so clever and edgy?!”

I wrote something similar in high school when I read the book jacket but not the book but turned in a book report anyway.

From what I’ve been led to believe:

Years from now we’ll have a secular spring holiday celebrating his career, where parents hide a bunch of painted baseballs in such a way that the kids never find any to symbolize his batting average.

It’s a must-listen every morning for me. I love it largely because they’re not always talking about sports. I love how they mock the absurd debates of other shows, especially with their ridiculous polls every day.

Dan doing that for his dad, and seeing the purely joyful reaction from him, made me think of my relationship with my parents and I actually got emotional. That was great television.