I’m sure the meat doesn’t sit out for days, that would be a USDA violation that would be caught quickly at a major chain like Subway, but I agree with your other points.

So I got home late, read this article, and turned the game on about 9:45pm and, uh, this article did not age well! (Except the “ever-cursed Lions” yeesh. 48-17 going into the 4th?! AGAINST THE JETS?)

I think you are on cocaine or have a TBI from eating too much Pequod’s.

So don’t watch.

Call your coach, not the cops. He’ll call the cops that are in his pocket.

I split time for work between Tokyo and the US, but the attitude of cops is one thing that is profoundly different between the US and Japan. In Japan, there are no public intoxication laws, so shockingly, cops’ jobs are to make sure drunk people are safe.

Polonium-210 strikes again.

If he could learn to take a walk, he’d be almost as good as Gleyber Torres.

Off topic: I decided a few weeks ago to pause my adblocker on the Kinja sites I visit, including Jezebel, because I know the financial situation you all are in and I genuinely want to support you. I enjoy this site, and if dealing with some ads helps keep GMG afloat, that’s fine.

This dude is one brave motherfucker. Forcible oral copulation involves introducing his dick into a hostile environment with many teeth. I don’t care how big and stiff your dinger is, it’s still vulnerable to a bite.

“Sure, you call that one fair.”

If Glover’s wife was the one arrested, why did his mother pose for the mug shot?

...and thus the mystery of “Whatever happened to Kevin’s older brother from The Wonder Years?” was solved...

I typically tip food service 15-25% but I get annoyed when the suggested tip on the receipt is based off the post-tax figure and not the pre-taxed subtotal...it doesn’t seem honest to me. I tip valets $5 when there’s no parking fee, but tip $2 when parking is less than $20, and no tip when parking is more than $20. …

They’re ranges have not been separate long enough to split into distinct subspecies. Trust me, I’m a cryptozoologist.

These cooler companies seem awfully invested in a controversy that’s gonna result in more people needing replacement coolers.

“Our show is a baby. We’re six months old,” Megyn Kelly said in her show’s defense. “Morning TV is obviously new to me and I’m figuring it out as we go…I think any show needs about a year to just find its footing.”

This is not what I meant when I told that girl I was a Boner Donor

“Look at me! At least I’m not a Trump supporter, like I imagine he maybe, possibly might be. But I’m not sure.”