A friend of ours came from an abusive household. She is also, like me, an experienced attorney. Her son is the same age as our son (both in elementary school) and they are friends. They attend the same camps. The night she told us that a neighbor, an older boy, showed her son how to masturbate, I was appalled. Then…

You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you?

Who cares.

Which is why the Cubs didn’t even really want him back in 2016, but there wasn’t a market, they got him cheap on a 1 year deal and he came back and won a world series. 

I’m all for ragging on the BFIB crowd whenever the opportunity presents and they absolutely are mostly garbage MAGA racists.

I wish you guys would fix your infographics. You put a lot of time and effort into them only to leave one KEY piece of information off - the distance Pastrani jumped.

It didn’t mock ESB in particular, it mocked Star Wars in general.

First quarter and the score is...

But it’s not the same.  JJ Abrams kept the spirit alive and clearly set up plot threads for an overarching story.  Then Rian Johnson came along and said, “Fuck all that.”  And we got The Last Jedi.  

Dancing skills

She found him non-sponge worthy.

For a similar experience to eating a McDonald’s apple pie you can just pour boiling corn syrup in your mouth

Have you even seen the Seinfeld episode? First he makes those muffin top like scones that Panera also sells. Nobody buys them and until he bakes full muffins and pops the tops off. Those are an inferior product.

Her willingness to literally go halvsies on breakfast muffins more than made up for any of her less admirable qualities;

Judging the past using today’s moral-lens is folly.

Or, we don't judge the people of the past based on present day morality.  

Hears a phrase new to them, makes sure everyone knows it is racist.

Tom, stop perpetuating the myth that Amazon killed Toys R Us. It was the 2005 leveraged buyout that tacked on billions of debt when their sales were already in decline.

WTF this post. Toys R Us is dead because venture capitalists saddled a healthy company with piles of debt (from their “purchase” of the company) while taking hundreds of millions in “management fees” until the company defaulted on the debt payments. Without this, it would still be around. Hell, they could’ve…

It’ll be just like my favorite toy catalog from when I was a kid: