“He scored a two goals, both of which were the best of the match.”

I don’t need to click because I know it’s one of three categories:

What the hell is there to lose by doing that?’

Is it really that much of a “nightmare” to tell people they can’t stay for free at your hotel? Just come up with a form email to copy and paste, ffs. Something like “If you would like to make a reservation, here is the link to our website.” What the hell is there to lose by doing that?’

“Smith claims that he can make lasagna from scratch”

I like turtles

“hospital??” “panic attack??” “hit her in the face with his penis???”  

Kind of amazed I had to scroll this far for this joke. It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the headline.

you had your chance with Rodman the other night and no one asked

oh f*ck off, this story can easily be seen as true, despite no proof, no witnesses, no evidence, and it being 16 YEARS AGO yet you believe this poor woman has suffered after *scoff* Jamie Foxx slapped her with his dick?!?!?! Is this even real life????!!!!! OMG come on, please use your brain and realize that yes, some…

My thought exactly. He’s clinging to the margins like a motherfucker.

Is there some sort of creature workshop in New York, where they make things like Trump and Giuliani?

the “ring” really isnt concrete, just old Provel cheese...

I heard about the $12.5 million. I mean hey, boo. Just thinking about you.

What you don’t know is that citrusynuggets is “Slippin’ Jimmy” McGill.

Did you know you can call ICE at 1-886-347-2423 and tie up their time for a few seconds? That is a few less seconds they are doing loathsome things.

To think they could’ve just put something turf-like over it. I mean, it would’ve looked obvious that they were trying to it cover up, but maybe this sort of thing would at least given them confidence.

20 yards away, there is an Android phone running Chrome reading articles, you can see them but you’re there eating terrible errors instead 

Editor’s Note- Michael Jordan is the best basketball player ever.