I've been busy.

So how about Ferguson, huh? Crazy stuff.

Well, I tried, you guys.

"I must say, there's not much in this article that I can agree with. All I can do is tell you that I know many fantastic American women, including my wife Michelle and our incredible daughters, Sasha and Malia. And while I may not like the kinds of things that are said here, I'm so glad that we live in a nation that…

I hate to admit it, but I actually am afraid of that Dean.

I'm cool like that. (And it's "Barack.")

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Thank you. I'm thrilled to have been part of the movement that's ultimately resulted in quality, affordable health care for previously uninsured Americans such as yourself.

Congratulations. You are an inspiration to this board…and to this nation.

I swear, if I read any more dumbasses on the Internet calling me a socialist, I just might murder some people.

Yes.

I get very little recognition for that.

It's my pleasure to increase the profile of racial hybridity. Happy holidays to you.

I am, of course, not. But to be fair to the hardworking, passionate Americans who believe this, I can't prove that I'm not.

My fellow Americans,