RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

It's a bomb. And the phrase is "hoist by my own petard." And speaking of bombs, your insurance is all paid up, right?

Oh, so close, @joaquinstick:disqus . But since you're on Google already, you might want to look up "severe bone trauma + first aid." Best of luck!

And this is the part where I shatter Willy Pete's beliefs. Of course it's the pelvic bones! You internet people and your precious Google, honestly…

…and that's exactly why I don't let you play with my toys.

Well done, all. Isn't teamwork a beautiful thing?

Correct! Now show your work. Seriously, prove that you worked it out or I pull this here lever, and you don't want to find out what it does.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

Hah, right, "working for." You just keep watching, pal.

Bah, this is what I get for trying something new. The five Egyptian gods are hidden within the riddle itself and are, in order: Amon-Re, Ptah, Hathor, Thoth, and Bast. The one with knowledge is, of course, Thoth, as Zsasz correctly guessed. Honestly, I thought hiding "bast" in "bastard" so obviously would have tipped…

Okay, clearly none of you are going to get this on your own, so I will issue a RARE HINT and point out that "But where are they?" is not meant as a rhetorical question.

Say, that's not a bad trap idea. Tell you what, if my pitch for a Riddle of the Minotaur sequel gets picked up, I'll include it and give you a "Depravity Consultant" credit.

Oh, so that's where I left all my old outfits! Good to know they can still come in handy.

You can assume anything you want. But you shouldn't.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

Keep whining, John, and the English language won't be the only thing dying today.

What can I say, I get bored easily.

I don't take orders from you, dog. I'll answer questions when I damn well please.

Are you kidding? Watching them make fools of themselves was the whole point! Otherwise I'd have spent the whole evening strategically making myself scarce, instead of just half the evening.

Correct! Ah, I knew this one would go fast, but I couldn't resist that pun. Plus I enjoy imagining my fellow inmates being executed. Then maybe I'd get some peace and quiet.