RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

No, you being killed would look like this.

You are correct! A nice consolation prize for juuust missing last week's. And for your reward…

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

Killed? Me? Certainly not. Maimed and humiliated, yes, but not killed. Gotham has enough homicidal psychos roaming the streets without my adding to the body count.

My parents are quite dead, and even if they weren't I'd be loath to spend one more second of time in their company, so no. It's all part of the tortured backstory the quacks at Arkham can read off to you to explain why I should be sentenced to their glorified supervillain rest home instead of big-boy prison.

I win every round, pal. But you get kudos for solving the riddle, even if you did so after I had gotten bored.

Enough! Here's the answer, for the ever-dwindling followers of this game.

Oh yes, I bow before the realism of the Elder Scrolls games.

Swing and a miss! And hey, since this is a Greek mythology-themed episode, I finally get to use my old Minotaur props to mete out your punishment! So now might be a good time to invest in iron shields.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

You are correct! Your prize will be donated to the public television station of your choosing. Because you're classy like that.

I'm back. I managed to shake off the guy who was tailing me — well, less "tailing" than "pursuing through back alleys and tossing ninja stars willy-nilly at." This is looking serious, though. These guys are out of my league physically, so I'll probably need to bring in the Bat. But there's no way he'd listen to me,…

Okay, listen, I can't stay long. I've stumbled onto something big here in the new Gotham, something I don't think the Bat or mohawk-me have been tipped off to yet, and I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it. So I don't know when I'll be able to log on again to answer today's riddle. I think it involves the al…

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

Sigh, it seems like fewer and fewer people try to answer my riddles these days. I'm getting bored. Anyway, the answer is because it's so Platonic!

Then I have some great prank calling to do.

Yeah… fonder.

No, too easy.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!