Aw, shucks.

I'd pay to see Conan assassinated.

Change your avatar.

Because of smelly brown people.

No pop culture for me this week, dudes.

I just dropped a stool load.

I hope your car crashes on the way to the wedding and you're paralyzed for life.

As they say in the culinary world, "too many chefs spoil the broth." It only takes one writer to make a masterpiece.

I haven't seen an asshole this black since I ate nothing but Del Taco for a year.

I liked your post because you're a girl.

You wish.

You guys haven't lived until you've tried my "Boston Bomber Buttersnaps"
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Your friends are cunts.

Ever seen Meatloaf preform this song? He might as well be Chris Farley.

This guy's a fucking douche.

Jesus.

Shut up and look at my tots:

You know what else is excellent? My jalapeño poppers.