I heard he was so fat that he went into a restaurant and he ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

Same here. 1999 actually had two of the most poorly marketed films that would ultimately go on to become cult classics. In addition to Fight Club, which appeared to be a martial arts movie, Office Space trailers made the movie seem like a goofball comedy about a guy trying to get fired. The "I'm going to show her…

Luckily, the remains of Starwipe are still available to answer that question for you:

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to drunkenness, Dave.

I got used to Washington, DC prices and then visited a friend in North Carolina. When they charged me $5 for a pitcher of beer, I assumed the bartender had just screwed up and rang me up for a pint. I felt like I was stealing when they assured me that $5 was the price for the full pitcher.

Personally, I liked that Kylo Ren was a really incompetent bad guy. I felt having him fight poorly fit the overall narrative of the character, and it makes him more interesting and potentially more dangerous.

In college, I can remember my roommate one year buying huge bags of those sour watermelon gummy candies each week. He marveled at how they made candy that good that wasn't bad for you, since it was fat free.

I have a friend that has been doing nothing but posting passive aggressive self-pity memes for years. Apparently, when Facebook shows her that she shared a meme from "I'm fed up with your lies and cheating"'s page 3 years ago, rather than take that opportunity to reflect on how long she's held onto her anger, she…

They just wanted to give that land back to the people! By, you know, changing it from a publicly owned and accessible park and transferring it to the hands of private citizens.

Once again, all those house hunter shows ruin real estate for the rest of us. You've got to look past the weapon-filled shrine to fictional serial killers and think about what you'd want to do with the space.

Well, I've got good news and bad news for you…

That's true, they are great on their own. The wrongness of the second part of the sentence overwhelmed the truthful earlier part.

I defended the decision to include a food section. I thought it could be a lot of fun. Then I read this sentence: "Here’s the thing with M&M’s: They’re great on their own and fucking terrible in ice cream."

Still my favorite (and relevant!) xkcd:

You can impress them with your tale of finally achieving your lifelong goal of becoming an internet commenter.

And then sometimes you pull a Rachael Ray and get so carried away making your new line of dog food appetizing to people that you forget that some people foods are toxic to dogs:

Community, for me. Todd's endless thinkpiece/episode reviews were a lot of fun, before the quality of the show declined too much.

I, for one, welcome our new food overlords.

Telegram or GTFO.

I had a flip phone from 2010 until about a year ago, when I realized that AT&T was charging me $25 a month for something I almost never used. Switched to a drug-dealer type pre-paid phone now. It's smart-phone-esque in appearance, but doesn't actually have any data plan or internet capabilities.