BLOODY MURD…oh wait. Thanks, that's awesome.

Same for me. You can always start a new Disqus account and give up your 125K upvotes and commenting history.

My dog has been having some…gastrointestinal issues for the past few days. Poor thing is miserable and we've got a date with the vet later today.

I still have my 2000 penny, still sealed and everything. I was going to make a joke about it being worth approximately $0.01, but people are selling them on ebay for about $1.00-$9.00.

Goddammit. Note to self: Check with @avclub-6d6285f92ba0ef734664f38cad2ee091:disqus before making any future life decisions.

Definitive ranking of the major "Cocoa" cereals: Cocoa-Krispies>>>>>>>Cocoa Pebbles>Cocoa Puffs

I got a box of Homer's Cinnamon Donuts that I refused to open under the belief that it would one day be a valuable collector's item. The thing went through 3-4 moves with me before I realized that nobody would pay money for a semi-crushed, decade old box of cereal. Sounds like I should have just eaten the damn…

So do we break it to the internet that people living outside of New York City have little interest in how they do things in New York, or do we keep on telling the internet it did a great job? At a certain point, we become enablers.

I know exactly which one you're talking about. It was a good early childhood lesson that everything in life inevitably ends in disappointment, and I wasn't meant to experience true happiness.

Also, it's been 5 days, and to paraphrase John Goodman's character in The Big Lebowski, life does not start and stop at your convenience, you miserable spoiler-phobes.

What? It's like my whole life has been a lie!

For greater than and less than, I always have to think back to my second grade math class and work out which number the hungry alligator would rather eat.

I would actually find it more helpful to have a Hodor instead of those arrows. For some reason, I always have to stop and think about which button is the correct one, usually while the door is shutting in somebody's face.

It's always upset me just how gleeful we are as a society about prison rape. I've even seen "don't drop the soap" jokes for really insignificant crimes.

They were waiting for the Moleman household to finally break down and individually buy a bunch of Disney animated films for the Molechildren. You're welcome, everybody.

I'm not even close. I need to improve my pandering skills.

The AV Club has been on a real "replacing things with other things" kick lately. Makes me want to get in on this phenomenon so I can bask in the Great Job, Internet fame as well.

Ack_Ack's middle-age years definitely could have done more to prevent it. They were basically asking for it.

They also give you that awesome numbness from all of the vibrations and jostling that the newfangled roller coasters just can't match.

It's always surprised me that Anheuser-Busch could make such crappy beer, but such a classy theme park.