That M&M distribution is all wrong. How come everybody else is always so wrong about absolutely everything?

It's slim pickins for us early risers on the East Coast. You either try to revive conversations that stopped 10 hours ago, or you comment on the few new articles that go up in the morning. I guess you could do some work instead, but let's not get crazy.

Spoiler Alert: A canceraids epidemic sweeps through Westeros after somebody thought they could sneak a stealth firstie into their comment.

Does TLC still do "What Not to Wear"? I'm pretty sure people prefer to learn that you think they're a bad dresser via a televised ambush.

I'm glad to see that this day is finally being observed with the solemn dignity it deserves.

All these Fry avatars are throwing me for a loop. I'm expected to read usernames now?

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

I've always argued that of the two American Presidents with a last name of Harrison, the one that died a month into his term actually accomplished more, simply be becoming the answer to a trivia question.

I ended up creating a separate Disqus account with a separate email address. If you don't already have a second email, I've got some connections in the industry and I can probably set you up with one. It'll be $500, upfront, but I can get this done for you.

I'm at work at the moment, so I can't verify this, but I'm 100% sure that what you're seeking is out there. It's probably just one Google search with the Safe Search function off away.

"What are those yellow monsters and how did you contain them within this glowing box?"

As a normal human being that is sound asleep when WOT usually posts, and a power user that's known to make upwards of three comments a day, I wholeheartedly endorse this change.

If hell exists, I have to believe that it would be a Chuck E Cheez that doesn't serve booze. The thought of trying to do it sober would probably push me into deadbeat dad territory.

They're awesome, go for it!

A few years ago, our old, beat-up sofa finally got to the point where it had to be replaced (the actual frame itself had broken in a few places). My wife and I debated whether we should buy some crappy used one off Craig's List and try to wait out my cat (he's getting quite old) or if we should just buy a nice couch…

And the people who spit their goddamn chewing gum on the ground should be jettisoned into space prior to their arrival on the moon.

Normally, I'd complain about Amelie's insult to Cadbury Creme Egg cookies, but I guess I should be happy that they moved up a spot since last year:

I remember my friends and I debating whether the animals in the movie were real or fake when we first saw it. I caught a few seconds of it as an adult and the computer animation was Who Framed Roger Rabbit-level obvious. I guess my point is, kids are stupid.

Cinemax's decision to hire a VP of a Few Seconds of Semi-Obscurred Vag has really helped them lock down that demographic.

Done making a joke? I've never even heard of that as being an option. Maybe I was too busy listening to Dawes and their sweet Laurel Canyon sound…