"What Moon Things"…What does this mean?

Also, are we supposed to recognize the significance of the words placed by each timeslot? Is this some sort of secret code?

Commenting on the AV Club is a great start for the "not having any actual work to do" aspect. We're still trying to figure out the "supporting ourselves financially" part.

My wife had a coworker that had very little experience dating. He managed to get a date or two with some girl, but was totally unable to pick up the hints that she really wasn't into him at all. (In all seriousness, he went to a party with her and posted, on his own Facebook account, pictures of her doing shots off…

My favorite part was that during the actual Super Bowl, I didn't hear a peep out of any of my conservative friends on Facebook. It wasn't until the following Tuesday or so that my feed blew up with outrage and "What if a white performer went onstage in a KKK outfit?!" memes.

In addition to pushing meds, they'd also probably diagnose you with autism these days. They did that for my daughter. Went in to the appointment hoping for some tips on dealing with her social anxiety, left an hour later with an autism diagnosis based almost entirely on second-hand information.

So this is what it feels like when doves cry.

I'm with you on Cagayan. Tony finding the Tyler Perry idol, combined with a once in a lifetime goat that willingly gave up $1 million for his sense of honor, took what should have been a glorious, crash and burn strategy and somehow won him the game.

For years, I indulged my cheapskate nature and let my shoes get to hobo levels of disrepair. My reasoning was, that per the movie, nobody ever notices a man's shoes.

The references seem too spread out, chronologically, for it to reasonably be a real person. Definitely seems more like somebody just trying to check off all the typical low-brow entertainment boxes…and now I've spent too much time researching the timeframes of all the shows/movies mentioned in the original post.

Yeah, they laid it on a bit too thick.

I have a living will that says that if I ever stop laughing at poop jokes, my family has to put me down. I'm clearly getting no enjoyment out of life at that point.

The Internet indicates that it went up to level 149, so you quit about halfway through, you big quitter.

"It's obviously a false flag SJW plot to discredit us."

Star Wars and Marvel fans are known for their casual nature, though. I don't think you can get more than 1 or 2 comments deep on any article about either franchise without seeing "I'll just check in every few years to see how things are going."

What's up with that?

Wait, are you really Lorne Michaels?

Oh boy, you've gone and done it now. I've learned over the years that there are a few things that the AV Club community simply won't stand for. They are, in no particular order:

Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith will save the day when they realize that while the aliens maintained a subscription to Norton, they never turned on their auto-update, and all their virus definitions are way out of date.

As with most things on the AV Club, I assumed it was some sort of reference that I wasn't aware of.