I know! Take my wife…No, please take her!

I'm going to give all of you the opportunity to witness history as it happens. Joining the ranks of Poe's Law/Godwin/Rule 34:

But we got Kony back in 2012, right? Don't tell me all that liking and sharing was for nothing.

Quick poll: Switching a French Flag profile picture to a lightsaber picture:
a: bad taste
b: come on, it's been like, a month already, we don't still care about that, right?

Dude, I've got some mint-condition 2015 Holiday Edition Ziplocs. We're talking quart sized, freezable, and with the SmartZip seal and everything. I suppose I could part with them for $100.

The clip in this article cuts off quite a bit of their dialog. Here's a better one: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

I used to have a compressed schedule and got every other Monday off. The retirees will still be out in force during the week, giving you dirty looks because they assume you're unemployed.

Is clicking on this link going to give me a few weeks of very uncomfortable "recommended for you" ads?

Same here, buddy. And don't get me started on giving those mooching garbage men all your trash too.

Betting $1 from anything other than the final bidding spot is just setting yourself up for it, though.

Maybe you'll get lucky and your crazed gunman will have stormtrooper-level shooting accuracy.

The awkward, scripted banter between David Bowie and Bing Crosby is enough to make theirs the best version.

Fellow ex-cashier here too. I usually do it myself because I'm one of those jerks who brings my own cloth bags that flop over if you try to stand them up. I try to make everything easier by putting the items on the belt that will be bagged together. (e.g. putting all the cold items together). I've noticed that…

"Wikipedia also claims “wagon” is used in New York and Hawaii, and while
this went unremarked even on the always-contentious Talk page, any New
Yorker can tell you no one has ever called it a “wagon.”

At my local supermarket, the racing car carts are the only ones that can fit two kids. They are the only option for us brave souls who saw the dangerous undercrowding on this planet and decided to do something about it.

At my [public] high school, they used to have an annual tradition where the best male and female vocalists were selected and got to perform the first and second verse of O Holy Night at the annual Christmas concert, with the rest of the choir joining in for the chorus After they performed it once, the choir director…

I took a Middle East history class back in college and the professor was very adamant that North Africans, Arabs and Persians were three very distinct groups that would each be offended if you mixed them in with the others.

I see that, and raise you this:

Exactly. My mother-in-law is obessed with ensuring that my wife and I own ever last single-task gadget they make. I always wonder who these people are that like to store, use and clean 37 different tools while preparing a simple meal.

I actually once got one of those avocado scooper things you see at the 7 second mark as a gift. In addition to replacing a spoon, which can perform many functions, with a tool that can only perform one specific function, you get a tool that can't even perform the one function it was designed to do. The avocado…