He would have still been fired, as would the next 7-8 replacements. But not before totally rebuilding the entire cast around each one.

Your lender is just now realizing that they really should have taken a closer look at what you were claiming as assets.

I'm saving mine up for retirement. Once I build up enough, I'm cashing them out and living the sweet life.

Begrudging upvote for beating me to it.

Did you see the part where the X-wings were all like "Blam Blam Blam Blam" and then the TIE fighters were like "KABOOM!!!!"?

I'm fine with a little clapping at a live performance. It's the standing ovations that bug me. Especially the kind where it's one or two assholes that start it off and the people around them slowly join in until I realize that I'm the only one not standing. Come on, people, it wasn't that good. Are we really doing…

I think I speak for everybody when I say that we prefer our warnings in non-coded form.

Not knowing how successful people poop at work will also hold back your career.

To be fair, getting a reality TV series on Televisa USA is really stretching the definition of "a thing."

"the Church probably did more to support FARTS than any other institution"

You've really let yourself go since the wedding.

In that case, please let the record show that my lack of further comments on this article is my passive aggressive way of letting you know I'm still upset about what happened last week. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me.

Case in point: I just googled NeoPuppy and the image search results are nothing but guns.

I know it's only been up for 25 minutes, and it's still early on Monday morning, but seriously, only 2 upvotes?

You at least excommunicated this coworker from Chilitown, right?

I knew a guy in college who always used Gatorade as a mixer. He insisted it helped him avoid hangovers because electrolytes.

Which popular A.V. Club gimmick account died in the past year? If you said Simpsons Quote Generator, you're wrong. It was never popular.

A Jedi did it.

It takes a special kind of disappointment to make a parent cry halfway through a monosyllabic word. Keep chasing that dream, buddy. You can make it happen.

That's so crazy, it just might work. Do you think we should make the whole group implausibly attractive?