But it will just be replaced by a social media platform that's even more incomprehensible. I envision a future where we're trapped in our homes, surrounded by "smart" appliances and electronics we no longer understand how to use and quietly muttering to ourselves that they used to be called "pound signs."

Seriously. He hasn't even taken a single gun yet. We put a lot of work into faking that birth certificate, covering up his Muslim past, etc, and we don't have anything to show for it. If he doesn't at least suspend the 2016 election and declare martial law soon, we're going to have to start all over again with a…

Verizon Fios recently came out with a semi a-la-cart plan where you can select blocks of channels (i.e. all the non-premium sports channels, new channels, etc) rather than just the standard array of channels. Since I pay them an absurd amount of money each month to get a bunch of channels I have no interest in…

You need to add something about Jews. They're like the Kevin Bacon of conspiracy theories.

The Statue of Liberty has to have the Arch beat. Since it faces out towards the ocean, you don't even get New York City Skyline. Just smudgy windows looking out at water and the realization that you just spent 3 hours climbing stairs for nothing.

I somehow managed to keep watching it until he bitter end, although I have no idea how I managed to convince my parents to stick with it. I was in middle school when it aired, and it was my first exposure to any type of subversive/alternative comedy. It totally blew my mind. I don't know if it still holds up, but I…

I was reading a story in the local news about a bunch of people showing up armed to a community meeting. I don't normally make a habit of reading non-AV Club comments, but thought that surely the people in my community agree that it's nuts.

The screen doors on their submarines doomed the recovery mission from the start.

Nowadays, we coddle our Senators. Try to give 'em a good old fashioned spanking and they arrest you for assault. It's no wonder the Senators today are so spoiled and entitled.

So you're buying into that British propaganda too? Matthew McConaughey and Jon Bon Jovi recovered the machine for America. It's a historical fact.

When I was a teenager, my best friend's parents were the type that wouldn't care if he rented a rated R movie, as long as the title didn't raise any eyebrows. Since blockbuster used to display the actual cover of the movie and then stack the rent-able VHS tapes behind it in their generic Blockbuster packaging, this…

Who needs upvotes anyway? I don't need validation from strangers to know that what I say has value.

Don't do it! Just think of what you'll be missing out on.

I couldn't resist checking this guy out. Apparently, that book advocates, among other things, staring directly at the sun to cure diseases. Since he'd never lie about something like that, I guess I know how I'll be spending the rest of my day.

Protip: If you tape over some old VHS movie that you think nobody would ever want to watch with Skinemax, make sure your mom doesn't try to sell the movie at a garage sale.

Slacker. I share critical memes and sign online petitions.

Were you even paying attention at last month's meeting? We're not supposed to just come right out and announce it. We're supposed to hide all the details in plain sight so that all but a few brave and intrepid internet sleuths can connect the dots.

When I saw the headline, I started preparing a snarky comment to sarcastically suggest that this would be the direction FOX would take it. I see the actual show writers beat me to it, though.

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to furthering science.

We had this great app when our daughters were newborns that helped you track all of your kids poop (since the doctors usually ask at all the checkups). You'd get to log each one, then select the color, texture and if it leaked out of the diaper. We're hanging on to all the data to use as blackmail when they're…