That's not true at all. An unpaid intern at the publishing company did the find and replace.

Hey everybody, this guy's never even heard of Apple Pie!

Now Bridey Elliot can never get pregnant from your views. I hope you're happy.

I, too, work for the federal government, but apparently not all agencies were created equal. We do the major software update right before a crucial deadline thing all the time. Luckily, we've only fallen for the "We only made one change, you don't need to test it" trick once, though. Did you know that our help desk…

Good news, Rhode Island and Delaware, you have fewer crazy but harmless conspiracy theorists than the rest of us.

[Clever way of wishing CancerAids upon you]

Goddammit, Huell…

Terminator Genisys was all about keeping Huell happy. Huell, you happy?

Yahoo is still attending high school football games, while struggling to pull his old jersey over his ever-increasing gut and telling anybody who will listen about how his team won the championship back in the day.

I don't think Paul Anka would work in this particular case:

Thank you for including Douglas Adams in your forgivable list. My….friend has tried on multiple occasions to get through the Hitchhikers series and just can't do it. Any time he's tried to share that opinion, the reaction he receives is pretty hostile.

Garden State would be a good one for this list, but fortunately, most people seem to have come around to my opinion that it's total garbage. Circa 2004 or so, all I heard was how it was "amazing", "changed my life" etc. I had people legitimately angry with me, when my reaction was more along the lines of "What the…

I originally started reading them because I had a 2 hour train commute each day, and there was enough sheer volume to the series to keep me from having to go to the library for a few weeks. They're very enjoyable, as long as you don't take them too seriously.

As someone who once watched a Steelers game with a group of Steelers fans, I too viscerally hate the Steelers.

I'm sure all the folks stuck in various waiting rooms and airports all had a good laugh.

I stand corrected. I once was reading som fairly old tv reviews and saw somebody posting "lasties" at the end of each one. I really appreciated the bit, even though almost nobody would ever see them.

I call dibs on TheGuyWhoForgetsToLogOutOfHisGimmickAccount

I've been too traumatized from all the low-rent costumes my mom used to throw together for me at the last minute to ever get dressed up as an adult. It's really taken all of the fun out of the holiday.

I've always been partial to "Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog."

It's looking like Congress will pass the very low bar of allowing the government to function tomorrow, so I will still have a paying job. They just better not try this nonsense again in December, or my family better like crude, hand-made Christmas gifts.