A few years ago, some network got in hot water for showing an unedited version of Saving Private Ryan. Not because of all the violence/gore, but because of the swearing. It was ok for them to show a soldier trying to hold his own intestines in, as long as they dubbed "Oh Fudge!" over his dialogue.

I take full responsibility for my actions.

I'm ok with irrational numbers, it's the imaginary ones that bug me. Use a little creativity, mathematicians! Slapping a square root symbol on a negative number isn't making a new number, people. You need to come up with new names, and maybe give them secret powers or some shit like that.

Fool! You should have taken the $50 in free tuna. Don't come crying to me when the cash bubble finally bursts and we transition to a canned seafood based economy.

Yes, only because they called off the Stanford Prison Experiment after only 6 days.

We can't even pay our bills, and the patrons at Sleep Attack's restaurant are drinking Royal Crown Cola.

I once overheard somebody trying to order something similar, except he wanted Diet Coke and water with the tequila. The waiter agreed to bring him each of those three components so he could make it himself, since the bartender refused to make that on principle.

A DJ at a radio station I used to listen to always told a story about some guy who called up to request the "She's a fuckin' A" song.

During my freshmen year of college, my roommate absolutely insisted that whatever crappy-ass program he used to play music limited his playlists to only four songs. He would listen to them in an endless loop, without headphones for basically the whole year. I still experience a visceral reaction to this day whenever…

Turns out refusing to count your money while you're sitting at the table does not lend itself to long-range financial planning.

Good news! I checked out several stories announcing his retirement, and it looks like we're allowed to make this joke more than once.

True, although if you can use the HOV lanes, it's not too bad at all. The stretch of road between the 14th street bridge and my local exit is actually the most efficient part of my daily commute.

In the Prince William County/Woodbridge, VA area, local politicians are trying to earn favor by talking about extending the metro down to this area. I can't imagine a worse possible way to get into DC than sitting on the Metro for an additional 25 miles.

Vandals were a lot classier back then.

Chapter 4: So a PS4 is kinda like a Nintendo that can get the internet and just forget I even mentioned a Roku.

Not to steal repostedcustomerreview's bit, but for at least one user, this was the third book like this she's read and still can't figure it out:

In other news, somebody wrote a book called "Amazon Prime: What is Amazon Prime and How to Get the Most Out of It" that's 9 chapters long.

It's not the size that counts, it's how you use it. Amirite ladies?

Dang, you're right. It does have to be a majority.

Fun fact: The whole Congress casts ballots to decide the speaker of the House, so theoretically, if the Democrats remain united and the Republicans splinter among their various factions, Nancy Pelosi could become Speaker of a Republican majority House of Representatives. I think there are parliamentary procedures…