I'd settle for a Johhny Mac win, but I have doubts that he'd really make the most of being HOH.

No, definitely not watching. I only watch high-brow, sophisticated TV, but if I were watching, I'd be excited about either Clay or Shelli going home. I just hope that the unaligned portion of the house can get behind voting one out if the other manages to come off the block after POV.

If we lose our old upvotes, how else are we supposed to evaluate our value as human beings?

I came across this years ago, and it's stuck with me ever since. It perfectly sums up pet ownership for me. It's also relevant to the subject of the article, so I deserve extra upvotes for tying it all together:

Just make them read Old Yeller or really any children's story that prominently features a pet before you get one. That way, their pesky childhood innocence will be long gone by the time the real one dies. With any luck, they'll be too scarred to even feel any emotions at all!

I believe that was pre-Disqus. Lurking was a whole lot easier back in those days.

Looks like he already got fired for that blunder.

Your brother was absolutely correct. He was clearly holding a mentally disabled individual hostage so he'd be available to taunt about whatever inane thing popped into Elmo's head each day.

My aunt and uncle used to own some sort of amphibious abomination of nature that lived in a fish tank, but could survive out of water. I think it was a type of salamander or something like that. Anyway, my aunt casually mentioned that she frequently had to search all over the house whenever she noticed that it had…

In high school, my friends car once stalled out in the middle of a busy road because of vapor lock. It was all worth it, though, because we got to make Simpsons references, and how often do you get a chance to do that?

I think there's also supposed to be a training montage in there somewhere.

Too bad they didn't have one of the guy who plays Bran. I can't even imagine what he'd look like as an awkward teenager.

Ha, you're saying it like it's a fancy store, when in actuality, it's really not!

Anybody here know somebody who always thinks it's funny to pronounce "target"like it's a fancy French word?

Stay on Target.

Their website says they're coming soon. But I wanted to be a reclusive hermit now.

My main takeaway here is that I can order individual bags of Doritos on Amazon. My reasons for ever leaving the house are quickly dwindling.

That's what passes for entertainment these days? Woozle Wuzzle?

I absolutely loved Black Sheep when I was a kid. I'm kinda surprised to learn that it was that stongly disliked. Everything else I liked when I was 13 still holds up, though, right?

Surely you're not including the made-for-TV "Shrek the Halls" holiday special in that statement. Shrek, Donkey et al learn the true meaning of Christmas. (Spoiler alert: It's spending time with your friends and family.)