Your autocorrect must be going haywire. I don't know what you were trying to write, but it got posted as, "I don't watch the Simpsons".

If any of my favorite shows get cancelled, I'm personally blaming you.

Country music as a genre seems to be overly defensive, and it goes out of its way to validate itself. That means lots of award shows and songs like this one:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Nothing, until you got me actively thinking about it, and now everything itches. Thanks a lot!

Glad to hear it. I was genuinely concerned for you when I saw one of your darker posts on a recent pop culture weekend Q&A. I hope you continue making progress. All snarkiness aside, we really do care about you.

For years we never let our cat outside, but when we were selling our house, so many prospective buyers would accidentally let him out, that he got that sweet taste of freedom and there was no going back to being indoor only. He's an abnormally friendly cat that loves people, so the worst that's happened so far is…

We never really pushed my daughter either way and she ended up being obsessed with dinosaurs, bugs and lizards. Meanwhile, my sisters-in-law tried to avoid anything traditionally girly with their daughter she she insists on wearing a princess dress everyday.

They even have their own society:

For Our Consideration: Mr. Fluffykins is the cutest kitty ever!

Hey, I make tasteless jokes because I desperately crave attention!

That one's gotta be trump. Frank would have called her a hoo-er.

Saturday Night Live had a sketch about all the 1992 Democratic presidential candidates pandering to Star Trek fans in a debate. My google skills tell me that it was season 17, episode 15, but I haven't been able to find a link to the actual video.

And Jonah Hill is himself just a poor man's Seth Rogen.

Check to see if his feet are on fire. Always a dead giveaway.

Great job, idiotking!

My college roommate my freshman year was only 16. Apparently he got to skip two years. That really surprised me because he never showed any signs of being particularly smart or gifted. He was totally unprepared for college, both emotionally and mentally, and ended up dropping out after 3 semesters.

Looks like Seinfeld should have followed my lead and never say anything positive about anybody under any circumstances.

As a cheap, miserly bastard, that's always my first thought when I see some drunken asshole at a sporting event. How the hell can you even afford to get that drunk on this weak beer?

About a month ago or so, the wife and I took the kids to a duck race in a nearby town. You got to buy a little rubber duck and they would put them in the river and see which one drifted across an arbitrary finish line first. The event was totally mismanaged and the people selling the ducks didn't actually know where…

I too always seem to get a cold whenever it's the hottest part of the year. If only lame jokes from your coworkers about that irony could speed up your recovery.