Hey, have I ever shared with you my dislike of Mondays? I have several humorous pictures that are applicable.

There seems to be a lot less outrage over the obvious snubs on this article than on the Emmy one. I for one can't believe that there was no nominations for … I don't even know enough about current pop music to come up with something here.

This guy never degraded a woman before in his life!

Did that AV Club staffer just ask what's a battle? The only battle I've experienced was my struggle to find an appropriately sized seed bell. So far nobody has found that worthy of a song.

My future wife's college roommate unironically loved his song. She played it constantly, through mid-January or so, and would get all tears-eyed every goddamn time.

You mean the one wearing glasses? But she was hideous!

Sometimes when I'm on a crowded elevator, I like to let out a nice silent fart just as I'm leaving. Nobody will notice it until I'm long gone. I like to think that the suspicion and false accusations thrown around after I leave tears their friendships apart.

Wouldn't the murder-suicides drive the rate below 100% The ones that are murdered can't also commit suicide, so you'll actually be lowering the percentage.

Hey, you're just saying what we're all thinking.

"Merged our assets" has to be the least sexy euphemism I've ever heard.

Don't forget 1996 Vezina trophy winner Jim Carey.

Yes, it was the 15th. How could you miss it, though? We've spent the entire month of July singing Prime Day carols and baking Prime Day cookies. There have been Prime Day specials on TV. It's been the best Prime Day ever!

There was the X-Wing series. They were always my favorite part of the E.U. because they branched off from the primary characters of the films. I always had such a hard time picturing Mark Hamill or Harrison Form saying or doing some of the things in the books that focused on the main characters.

My sister-in-law really fought hard to name their first daughter "Scout". Luckily, her wife's veto won out.

An ambuscade?

The war was about System's rights. Don't listen to those Rebel revisionists trying to claim the moral high-ground with all that whining about Alderaan.

Do you mean to tell us that there's been a Wedge Antilles montage set to "Eye of the Tiger" for almost 2 years and we're just now learning about it, and it didn't even get top billing? You dropped the ball on this one, internet.

If you had caught the first part of that season, you'd probably call it the "racist season". Who would have thought that a woman whose name was an anagram for Aryan held unfavorable views about blacks and Asians? They must have added an "Are you a racist/homophobe?" checkbox to the application process since then,…

Try to be a little less excitable and a little more genius next time.

She's great when she gets to yell gibberish. Actual English lines, not so much.