I hope you don't let your imaginary daughter watch your stand-up character's act. He sounds like a bad influence.

This week we're barely putting up with: U.S. District Judge John Kronstadt

It's where your car lives. Because lots of people like to keep some distance between their cars and their home life.

If you're using windows, the 148 has to be in a quick succession. Not all at once, I believe. If you're using Mac, you need to quietly reflect on where your life went wrong.

The Virginia DMV can beat that. They consider your residential, mailing and "garage" address to be three distinct addresses that need to each be updated separately.

Höld döwn Alt, then hit 148 in the number pad. Just dön't överdö it.

Sounds like somebody needs a little more Prime Day Spirit!

They were too busy getting a "Supplicants" door installed in their office for their old writers to crawl through.

I always pick the first available spot I see. If I'm stuck in a car with somebody who insists on circling the lot trying to find the absolute best spot, I start getting all antsy and have to resist the urge to jump out of the car like a kidnapping victim making a break for it.

One thing that's always annoyed me is portmanteaus that are completely unnecessary. Everybody always seems to think they're being cute and clever by saying something like "guestimate" or "chilaxing", but those are just goddamn synonyms. They don't provide any new meaning.

You've heard the expression, "let's get busy"? Well, that is a commentator who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.

He totally should have checked to see if she was crossing her fingers when she kissed that ring. Rookie mistake…

Will the whole season just be the Martell's discussing how dumb it was of them to [spoiler] :

I hear they're voting now too, if you can believe that. Although I'm not quite sure if I understand the point. Since they'd just be voting for who their husband tells them to, won't the election results turn out the same?

Please let your co-worker know that that upvote was actually for him.

Well I'll be damned

Hydrox is gone, @joeyblowey:disqus. Long gone. You're Hydrox.

Sounds like somebody needs a hug. No, that won't do it. You need a thousand hugs, from 10,000 lightning bugs.

A mid-sized sedan is a car typically larger than a compact car, but smaller than a SUV or crossover.

It's actually 26 years old. Just a friendly reminder that you're closer to your inevitable death than you realized!