I'm sure everybody will recognize this as the inevitable outcome of an underperforming television program in a free-market, capitalist society, and in no way consider it an attack on their own personal beliefs, right?

Go on…

Waiting patiently for your turn in the spotlight? You're not an only child at all, are you?

Everybody else respectfully makes eye contact with women at all times. I guess we all know where you're looking when you meet somebody new.

I once met somebody at a party that absolutely insisted that they were married.

It may have actually cost $4, but no doubt they came up with some absurd price if you didn't return it. They tried to tell me my cable box (pre-DVR) cost $1,500.

In fitting AV Club fashion, mine was a reference to masturbation on this article: http://www.avclub.com/artic…

They'd pay $65 and then spend the whole meal critiquing it as if they were a judge on Top Chef. You get bonus foodie cred if you're the first one to work the word "mouthfeel" into your review.

I think we'd probably have a hard time distinguishing it from most of the other commenters.

What's the etiquette here? Do we have to wait for the Seinfeld Quote Generator, or can one of us make a reference to pastrami being the most sensual of the salted, cured meats?

Good one, AV Club. Definitely the best fake movie review I've read in a while. You really had us all going there for a second, but there's no way anybody would make a real movie as ridiculous as this one sounds.

The only way she'll conquer her fear is to face it down. That's how this works, right? Or does she need to be exposed to an angry hive of actual wasps for it to be effective? Better do both just to be on the safe side.

Look at these records: Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records, they stink!

I'm sure he'll use the cancellation of his clothing line as an opportunity for some quiet self-reflection. He'll undoubtedly come out of the whole ordeal as a better person, right?

I have $2 in my wallet. When I get down this low in cash, I sometimes wish I could get mugged, just so I could laugh at them when they demand all my money.

Maybe a fifth bankruptcy will finally do the trick.

Season 5 happened to coincide with a real rough patch for my 3-month old daughter. She was going through a phase where she'd wake up crying every 10-15 minutes until usually about midnight every night. So every Sunday, as I'd watch Game of Thrones, I'd have to pause it constantly to go console a screaming baby. …

She'll probably end up back at the wall in bad-ass wight form, if it's any consolation.

I watch it anytime I visit my parents, since they watch the syndicated episodes basically every night. It just seems so ordinary, for lack of a better word. Every episode I've seen tends to be full of well-worm sitcom cliches. It makes all the love they get from the Emmys so baffling. What is it about this show…

First half of the 90s? Unless he got assassinated for his role in blowing the lid off the the Arman Tamzarian conspiracy, he's definitely still getting those jokes today. I still have people shout "Lieutenant Dan!" at me to this day.