They still are:

That doesn't look very scary. More like a six-foot turkey!

What's next, is he going to tell me that raptors didn't have Dino-Strike™ Slashing Jaws!?

Just be sure they bring your corpse up on the right side of the escalator.

Or Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge!

Dude! Spoiler Alert!

It was Donkey Lips, right? My sister once swore that she saw him, and it became firmly entrenched lore among my friends when I was growing up. The thought that somebody else also noticed and remembered this is making me too happy to adequately express in words.

Really? Awesome, seemed so obscure that I didn't even bother checking to see if anybody else mentioned it. This is making me irrationally happy.

One time, while we were watching the show, my sister swore she saw the guy who played Donkey Lips on Salute Your Shorts in a group of eliminated contestants. "Donkey Lips couldn't get a date on Singled Out" became such firmly entrenched cannon in my neighborhood that I would occasionally forget that it wasn't a…

It was also a great opportunity for my 12 year old self to ogle pre-vaccine hysteria Jenny McCarthy. Let's just say that she was already costing potential future people their lives.

Do you regret your non-coffee years now? That's how I felt after I finally got into it. I look back on all my non-coffee drinking years and wonder what could have been.

You're doing 1995 week wrong.

Do you mean ZooBooks? You can get a free issue about elephants if you subscribe!

Pretty good. I actually managed to get the tolerability index up on my computer before there was about 500 comments. I don't really have anything noteworthy to say, though.

Not only that, but when those suckers play dead, they really commit.

It also had the added bonus of turning one of Germany's finest cultural achievements into Allied propaganda.

I had one! It said "The Juice is Loose", but then had a picture of OJ's face behind prison bars, so maybe the Juice wasn't actually loose? All I know is that I was the envy of my lunch table for the couple of weeks that we were all into pogs.

Take that, all you Colorado bashers.

The "THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT" is also my favorite part, solely because I like to think of it from the perspective of the other police officers with Dafoe's character. On the screen we hear the music swelling and Dafoe interacting with a flashback of the prior action, but that's all presumably in his head. The other…

Growing up, one of my friends had a subscription to showtime and a TV in his bedroom. Before the internet became prevalent, that was like finding the holy grail. Anyway, I can distinctly remember when Showgirls first aired on showtime. We planned a sleepover at his house, and the hours before the late-night showing…