*mutters under his breath that you can't really call it the White house anymore, gets ready to accuse anybody who heard him that they're the real racists*

One of my favorite ironies in life is that calling somebody "politically incorrect" is itself just a politically correct way of saying they're an asshole.

If their distribution model follows The Onion, it'd involve slowly losing control of their newspaper boxes to the resident homeless population.

I got made fun of because I completed all 6 hours of the paid one-on-one instruction my parents signed me up for. Apparently, this one asshole in my grade was such a good driver that the instructor told him he didn't need to finish the full course. I've never seen somebody so proud of not getting what they paid for.

You sweet summer child. This is Game of Thrones. The only likely resolution to the fight between the sadistic rapist/torturer and the guy who just burned his own daughter at the stake is the introduction of a third, even more terrible antagonist that makes you pine for the time when the villains were just…

5-27-15

Some radio stations even bleep out the drugs part. How Max got his fat stacks will have to remain a mystery for their listeners.

Some of us hold it in our heart.

Banging on a trash can
Drumming in the street light

The folks at the historical society laughed at you. They always said, "@avclub-e5438bd5e7a11caaf7c625d9d5ab7b50:disqus , you're wasting your time clicking on every pop culture article you can find with the hopes of correcting misconceptions about the Mongol empire." WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??

If you're still feeling guilt, you aren't spending that time in your bunk correctly. You should feel totally dead inside by now.

I wonder when snopes will get around to investigating the urban legend that web design has improved since 1998.

If you think about it, only 5.3% of their children went on to
become child molesters. That's really not too bad a percentage, right?

Yeah, didn't think so. I'll keep that in mind for my future imaginary Jeopardy appearances.

The first piece of music I owned was a Rockapella cassette tape. I can remember two things about that tape:
1. It included some sort of running feud with the mayor of Pierre, SD, since Pierre was only thrown in as an afterthought in their song about state capitals.
2. Owning a cassette tape of geography themed…

From the few episodes I've seen, they don't even broach the subject of the poverty wages the employees are paid. Sure, they'll mention somebody's financial hardship, but never seem to connect it to the fact that they make $7.50 an hour.

I knew the quote had to come from Silent Spring, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember the name of the author. Anybody know if they would accept "Who is the author of Silent Spring?" as a response?

So you're saying there's another kind?

I keep waiting for a paleo food maker to really take advantage of the untapped tree bark market. After all, it was good enough for cavemen.

As a freshmen in college, there was this guy that used to always hang out in our dorm with his guitar, clearly begging for attention. Anyway, my friend took the bait one day and asked him about his musical influences. He responded without a hint of irony or sarcasm, that obviously Billy Corgan was the greatest…